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Old 09-22-2011, 12:59 PM   #1
rewangluo608
 
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Get a dialogue going and be open and non judgmental when they share with you. How? If all you know about them is what school they attend and where they live, I would suggest you have some work to do. You need to know who else is in their life, what problems and concerns they may have, what goals they are working towards and what dreams for the future they have. What issues are their friends dealing with (not details just broad ideas) and what do they think about that?
Now I don't mean that you have to speak the same language as them monster beats solo white , or go out to parties with them, or go shopping or to the movies with them and their friends. What I mean is that as a friend you take an interest in their world. Ask them what is happening with themselves, with their friends, with their favourite band, singer or actor.
Sometimes a friend will make a decision that may disempower them and you may gently point it out. If you and your teen are friends and you see something going on that may not be wise, you will be able to point it out to them. Because we like and respect our friends and want them to like and respect us, for the most part we listen to what they have to say. Now, I am not saying that you stop parenting your teen. I am suggesting that you can parent more effectively if you are friends with each other rather than at war. The other thing I am suggesting is that for however many years you have had to be the parent and keep them safe. Now that they are teenagers 5815 ugg , allow them the space to create their own world while still being a big part of yours.
You are the example for them of how to do friendship. Are you a good friend? Do you gossip behind other people's backs? Do you complain about your friends and their needs? If you do, what example is that? And why would your teen want to be your friend if they see you being less than friendly to your own friends? They may think you would talk about them or complain about them when they are not around. There are many ways to parent and this is just one viewpoint. It has served me well. The time to start is now.
Can you be friends with your teen. Yes you can! Why? I believe the answer is Yes. I know that a lot of parents believe that their job is to parent not 'hang out' and be friends with their teen. However, let me ask you this, whose advice lady gaga beats headphones , ideas, stories and values do you have in your own life. Most likely it is your own friends. It is the same with teens. They will hear the stories, share the values, get ideas from and ask advice from those around them.
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