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62842 2010 年 07 月 27 日 20:44 Reading (loading. ..) Comments (0) Category: Personal Diary
The third part of the mother in the home, always thought that I fared very well
2006 年 9 Thursday 28 cloudy
delivery to the F County is my home, I hesitated not take the opportunity to return home to see. The last time I was back in 2003 when the New Year. At that time, although my situation worse, but not to the extreme, in front of their parents also put on a smug look. Later, they dare not go back, because I know, I have installed does not come out. You've seen the television cameras that silencing under a mountain of farmers? They do not listen to the director's instructions to play a smile, life, has been performing so that they lost interest. I, is such a mentality. But, I was performing in front of them parents. But I want them. Think of them, I think of my situation. I want to do for them, but I do not have this ability. This fall, hurts. A long time, I was asleep, and occasionally thought of, and immediately turned his thoughts. That is just a trace of heart throbbing, my nerves involved. To F of this county, is the direction to my house, I can not live home without, I can not, I have to go home to see. I paid a stock F County, sat for more than an hour by car, and finally, standing on the village's intersection. This familiar with the small road, and I seem to resound with the laughter of childhood, small partners. That joy, that is in the air in the familiar taste, waves that touch my soul. Now, I'm the wanderer, my Labo from home, standing strong in his homeland. Mother pig roadside grass cutting cauliflower fields, the wind flowing gray hair, body bent like a bow. This is her life. I wanted to call out \ I coughed gently. The mother turned around, after a moment's surprise, his face gleamed like chrysanthemum. I walked over, took his mother's hand sickle, helping cut pigs grass, big drops of tears, large drops to fall. In recent years, this is the first time I cried. The mother's guilt, the tears are washing more different. Night, in the dim light, I accompanied the parents to speak. When his mother heard that I was shipping to the F when the county, was very happy. \ I smile a bit. I prefer to call me mother, scold me for nothing, call me the black sheep with the most terrible curse me if it does not matter. I'm afraid my mother to praise those who praise me, like a sharp knife, pierce my heart. You always been a Hunzi, can only enjoy Hunzi treatment. I like wearing a piece of the emperor's new clothes. This new clothes, only I know to be false, others look very beautiful. Very often, we go home and home, seems in a hurry for fear of an extra day at home time. Fear of the heart, afraid to be more at home one day, the loss of a day in the city will be more chance of survival. In fact, the rush is nothing more than a little to their own psychological comfort Bale. I, too, so tomorrow I decided to return to C city.
2006 年 9 Friday, 29 October overcast
I did not go into. My uncle died Hall. Church widowed middle-aged uncle, only a daughter, son-strokes had a door, the couple are working in Guangdong. He is in fact a lonely old. Church uncle lay dying, just me and my father at his side. He died that moment, he hung a drop of love his eyes the tears of the world. Nobody want to die, no matter how hard life. Only hope alive! I heard church uncle died , left behind in the village's neighbors were all rushing over. Everyone to help, the uncle's body carried to the main room church, then start rushes to discuss funeral arrangements. This seems to be their own business, each person to express a view enthusiastically. They just want a little comfort to the dead end. Soon recommend a mains, is the village cattle uncle, his uncle is responsible for coordinating arrangements for the funeral hall. In our rural areas, the red thing white matter, has such a Explorer. But just do not have a problem. Basically, a middle-aged labor are not the village. Old people with a lot of our village, there are more than a hundred numbers, but now only a few dozen elderly and children at home, there are three or four can be considered barely middle-aged women. All others go to work. Large tracts of barren land, weeds in soaring. I am very worried for the Church uncle's funeral, because with the existing manpower in the village, not even to lift the coffin up the hill. Niu Di seemed to have answers, he arranged to stay in the village the old people call them the younger generation and ask them to go home. I also phoned my brother Hall. Church brother said they would come back as quickly as possible.
2006 年 9 月 Saturday 30 overcast
after another to someone back. These good people, always there when needed in front of you. One of my Tang Shu in a coal mine coal mining. He said the delay in lost revenue a day more than one hundred dollars. But they did not reveal even a little bit of complaints, in their view, the village is a big dead people, more money does not earn, they have to come back to help. Can come back almost all back, sadness filled the atmosphere in the village, but also inevitably mixed with some excitement. Talked a lot about the topic is money. On the issue of money was always something to do when I said I became a home in a big city, my wife is in town, it will certainly rich. I'm calm on the surface, the heart extremely embarrassed, if they know my real life, which will in their hearts the image of me is a complete subversion. I suddenly frightened, and afraid to bring their surprise bubble burst. Well , according to their imagination to design the life! Church uncle's remains buried in his lifetime to find a good piece of vegetable in. Off the soil that moment, cousin screaming in pain, tears cross-flow. The closest person soon to be buried in the soil, from Tianrenyongge, there are many complex heart pain, have wantonly vent at that moment. I saw my father with tears, looked bleak, as if the old lot. Father is old, almost 70 years old. Suddenly my heart is full of tension and anxiety, fear of that day came too soon to my head. I was not ready. And that day comes sooner or later, but I never let my father and mother enjoy a day blessing. I do not want to regret not leaving this.
Part Cana, actually lost a
2006 年 10 月 Wednesday, 4 Yin
with mixed feelings, I went back to C city and continue my neighbors think of the \ Cousin screaming in pain is a situation in my mind. I strongly look forward to early receipt of their parents around, a family get together for good to the old couple enjoy their grandchildren. What is the greatest happiness in life? Parents watching their children grow up, children watched their parents grow old, in the process, the family is always together. Always together. And my parents, far apart, if they have a pain in three patients two, who will take care of them? I am filled with intense guilt, I do not have reunited with their parents with the material basis. I'll have to make money, for me, but also for their families. I took my feelings of urgency around to look for a business, looking for potential profit opportunities. With time and Mao Zhuren for cooperation, the relationship between he and I have some conversational, and he said I was an honest man. This is a wonderful evaluation. A lot of smart people in this community, but we all like to deal with honest people. If we can not find a sense of security from the community, then you can find a honest person. This is why many smart people racked their brains for nothing, and those who look pig-phase always enjoy the benefits. Based on this evaluation, then I saw him, always try to smile a number of simple and honest. Mao Zhuren began to consult me some prices, a variety of both, and sometimes even cement, sand should ask me. In fact, a lot of things he also know the price, why ask me, is nothing more than what he would like to confirm the price of water. Price is actually a very tired of living, a lot of name for many things, I have to find out his name for the corresponding kind, so wrong. I can not go wrong, in my contact area at the time, he is considered a decision of the people. I reported a lot of value, but to me he basically did not purchased.
2006 年 10 Tuesday, 10 December cloudy
day goes by, the business and there is no improvement. I'm just a tool for inquiry others, such as transactions, others easily to the bridge I crossed. There is no other way I can think, can only build more channels, there is something to look forward to me missing. I am also looking forward to the fact, that is, when people became accustomed to my inquiry, I highlighted the importance to come out. So now I have to do is to insist on . As long as I can hold on, everything will be OK. Mao Zhuren called and asked me if I cooked for decoration materials are not familiar with. Just ask I know, I know. Mao Zhuren sent me a list, said one of his friends to decorate a room, ready to contract out. I was stunned to get the list, what insulation, shielding, water, lightning, I have never heard of these things. But I said I know, had no alternative but to go to the market inquiry. A lot of things on the market simply do not, prices are not out of consultation. I went to a professional decoration company, but could find, basically home improvement company,
la lights, the business of such tooling, the basic is not familiar. I managed to find a frock out, looked at the list, said done. I was very happy. I had the mentality, is not to think it is possible to make money, but to Mao Zhuren have a son. Now that said, we must honor, which is due credit as a man. The companies engaged in tooling a price reported to me, intact, did not add a penny, I'll turn reported to the Maozhu Ren. I just proved to Maozhu Ren, who come to me and yes, I can fix anything. This is typical of the thankless, but I have to do it. Prices reported to Mao Zhuren I did not go after this very thing. Anyway, I am not engaged in renovation, that is, to me, I can not do it.
2006 年 10 Friday, 13 June cloudy
morning, Mao Zhuren called me and said his friend looked at my price, I felt that I could, let me talk about his friend. Once again, I was dumbfounded. I only bite the bullet and go. Before going, I 'm trying hard to learn a bit fitting knowledge, that is, in fact, learn a few professional terms, so that the other Bu Zhiyu think I'm an outsider. Mao Zhuren friend surnamed Liu, a large state-owned enterprises in the logistics department as director. In fact, the eight children are not in the room decoration, repair and renovation that is what the scene looked at, I think it should not be too complicated. I said, I do not know what a professional, technician then brings me back to look at. So I came back to find that company, the scene described the situation to them. They go to the site to see, I'm done, I have a good talk with them first into. They do not dry, have to read the scene before me promise things stalemate there. Last resort, only when the villain. I personally find a company to understand their technology, called Chen Daming, after doing the profit forty-six commitment to open, and he four I'm six, and he agreed. Before going, he and I signed a similar agreement in the instrument. Professional is professional, Chen Daming read the scene right after the old Liu impressive. Lao Liu looks great confidence in us, declared that : \ and Chen Daming pull out to accept my private life, and is simply not possible to sign the contract on behalf of their company. I only like old Liu said the truth, hope, and his building materials business department to sign a contract, do not sign the construction maintenance, sign into the material procurement, work it. Of course, I do not always tell the truth, but also lied, for example, we do more of these projects, the general business of tens of thousands of dollars so we are all operating. Chen Daming also chimed in next, and casually gave some examples of evidence. Old Liu went along. Oh, this is my business department building the first contract signed, but has nothing to do with building materials.
2006 年 11 Friday, 10 November cloudy
signed the contract, but in the construction process has encountered a lot of trouble. Chen Daming work in the company hesitant to delay, only use the time to the site to the construction work, and Party of the relatively tight time limit and reminders, and made me very embarrassed. Also, I found the level of Chen Daming still in the purely technical level, his practical ability is poor, theory and practice a little less good. We take a lot of the construction of detours, but finally a man Please also only barely get this thing. We expect the deal will have had more than ten thousand dollars of profit, the final finish, we would have loss of four thousand yuan. Chen Daming earned recognition does not recognize loss, this loss of over four thousand yuan a person I had to bear down. More than four thousand dollars, almost there, I do bridge in Mao Zhuren all business profits, which look to disappear. I have heartache. Made me sad, because the duration of dragging the old Liu, quality also not pass, the old Liu said these things to Maozhu Ren. Mao Zhuren curse roundly called me a pass, that I would boast, let him lose face in front of friends and told me not to try and find him later . The loss of money, but also lost an important client, my heart can be imagined. Several days, I have listless. Mao Zhuren will not believe me since I worked so hard to build a big customer, because my greed ruined. I do this is greed? Sigh.
son of the third part, I hope you are strong (1)
2006 年 11 Monday, 13 December cloudy
I have returned to mother's home. But for me there, in fact, like a hotel, I just go back to sleep only every day. Not no love here, but, it is after all not mine. I have also tried to put it as me, but ultimately failed to do. Resting on the eastern side stool resting on the west side of good or better? I did not say. Only son, to arouse the enthusiasm of my back here. Afternoon, I received a call from Zhou Yuan, said she Jiugong died, she and her parents to go to funerals, let me pick up his son, opened the way parents look. Son in kindergarten on the middle shift, and before family conference, can not,
la gear shoes, I do not always evasive, are to go by the Zhou Yuan, or the son's grandparents to do it. I do not like in the public eye, do not like to appear in front of an acquaintance, not a low-key, but some ashamed. Hunde more about poor people, the more we like to wrap themselves tightly. I always think that any gathering of people who are open to Hunde Hao, parents will be the same. I admit that my mind is very dark, but I can not get out to. I always look forward to the day I can be dressed to the party, but every time I meet are huddled in the corner, licking their wounds lost. I also try to behave gracefully some, but over the years Biequ life has shaped me into a humble role. So, this time parents, I still silent. Teacher suggested that parents focus on children and specialty training, and launched a painting, English, abacus and other tutoring classes. To be honest, I do not support this kind of after school tutoring. Child, or let him grow naturally good, too much training, only Destructive Enthusiasm, in the end nothing. But happens with many parents want their children to develop their own ideas, hoping to carve into their ideal child works perfect . So many parents in the teacher's discipline, the report gave the child the extra remedial classes. We are one of the parents downstairs, that is my neighbor, in one breath to his daughter reported the three courses. I have not reported. Kindergarten teacher looked at me with strange, insinuating and said: \ I think that kids in kindergarten, should learn the rules, learning to be human, character, temper, instead of learning technology. Forgive me, I put all the after school tutoring are the property of the technology. Today, we can teach children a lot of technology, but these techniques you master it? Themselves are not proficient, how to teach good boy? He can get after it? If not, would not be a waste of the child's energy? He want? If children do not like, forced children to learn, as a whole? So, I name the banner of intellectual development of children, clamored for the \ Besides me, other parents or one or more doors, give the child his paper. I really do not see the meaning of registration, the kindergarten teacher began to ask me directly: \ came over and said: \ I did not see the other parents reported all around over, chirped the egg with my son registration, if that battle is not reported abuse of his son, as I was. A bad temper, even take a very disaffected female parents love, even in the next complained: \ I want to explain my reasons do not apply to the children, but this too will be demolished and the teacher's table. Is embarrassing,
la gear, I heard my neighbor whispered to the teacher, said: \ transition from not understanding sympathy, even pity, I continue to say a few words enlighten.
son of the third part, I hope you are strong (2)
I'd rather be all blamed, than hear the words of some of compassion. These are two different types of pain. The former is an equal opposition, which shows that you are the typical weak. Teachers had to smooth things over , said: \. \ My son's little hand holding to go on the road, trudged and harrowing. It is not known what his son is poor, he also small. Can not cross two years, waiting for him a bit larger, to know the comparisons. Dad doing the work of others, how much money, open the car, he brought in his heart and I will compare some, then that is my disappointment, then to the inferior. Therefore may also autistic. I need to do is let the children know as soon as possible, the money is good, but sometimes they have to accept the reality of money. But for children, this is a profound topic. I asked the son: \ I was very despise their own idea I ' m too practical. Son thought and said: \ Asked, his son said: \ I've never been to the zoo with his son. Never. Because the flies down and out, change their mind thinking about the situation, so they only see their own, only about myself, but ignored my dearest son. Indeed, even to a zoo, but also became his desire. In winter, the night was to be earlier, walking down the road has some twilight, I decided to take his son to the zoo immediately. I can not wait. Sitting on the bus to the zoo, and affectionate with his son, but hate the drive was extremely slow. To the zoo when it was dark, the ticket office of people after work, me and my son had to look inside to see the big iron gate across. I pointed to a large iron gate in the night, with the son said, where is the tiger, where is the peacock, where is his favorite giraffe. In fact, the C market for so long, I have not been to the zoo. Son hard to keep your eyes open, with my fingers looked as if she really saw the same. Watching his son's expression, I felt I was a liar. I just go to the zoo with his son in order to complete the task, and seek a little psychological comfort. In fact, his son and saw nothing. My son said: \ At night, his son sleep next to me particularly tasty, and tender on the tip of the nose slightly sweat. I use paper towel and gently wipe him about disturbed him. He rolled over and fell asleep. The age of carefree, happy as the flowers the same. I hope the son will not grow up, just like so many good, do not experience the hardships of life and social evil, not competition, even without struggle. But he eventually have to grow up and eventually have to bear the social pressure brought to him. If he is strong, he will overcome the pressure to get his rightful place; if he is weak, perhaps, he will live like me useless. I do not want him mistakes that I made. I hope, I hope he is a strong hope that he anything good.
satisfy yourself in the third part of the earned every penny
2006 年 11 月 cloudy to sunny Thursday, 16
room decoration this thing is a blow to me, let me breathe a long time. My situation does not allow me to make mistakes. I'm like a weak body of patients, only tonic, can not take a laxative. Also , I think I should adjust attitude. I often have a sudden a large deal of expectation, in fact, want to get rich, want to immediately change their status quo. This is a dangerous signal, I do not have a big trading base,
la gear walking shoes, room decoration is an obvious example. I strongly eager to restrain their own idea of getting rich, to position itself as a role to earn living expenses, let that be enough to earn every penny. I figured, I actually only a month allocated to mandatory spending 300 dollars on my head office rent and other expenses are soft. That is, outside of my daily in addition to daily expenses, but also a profit of 10 dollars, so as to continue to survive. So I gave've set a goal to earn 20 dollars a day. Including transportation costs 5 dollars and 3 dollars for fast food costs 2 dollars, the tobacco money, and the remaining 10 dollars is my profit. With this goal, it seems to become simpler by. I frankly with the client,
la gear light, said: \ can I go and talk to you about prices. In short, I just want to work with you, let you suffer a loss. You give me a little running expenses, like you, like a porter. And porter did not know how much I have in this regard, I will help you control the quality of products, the porter could not do that. \ Now people are wary of the salesman, for fear of being taken in, but for porters, not so wary of. Initially, there are customers really put me as a porter. Slowly, they feel more smoothly after I use it, just call me direct shipping, and sometimes do not ask the price, I say what price is the price. Of course, I sold a number of small things are a little on the little amount I can not do, because I have no money advances. But it does not matter, my goal would have to be very low, as long as I can reach the goals on it. If you run into a customer looking for me to buy things, the profit has more than just the value of my goals, I felt that day learned a lot, very satisfied, very happy. For can not do because of the limited capacity of the business, I still do my best to help customers resolve their best so as to enable customers to feel true to me as their cause. Today, a customer call me and let me help him buy 100 kilograms of water blocking material, I actually made a 300 dollars. One day a month to earn a profit, I just glad the bad, and immediately to the Zhou Yuan called and reported the news to her. Expect greater disappointment, the target was lower, then the happiness will be more certain . Happiness is contagious, not only the infection of others, but be infected themselves. Work in a happy mood, the feeling things will be liking some.
The third part of the bottlenecks encountered
funds (1)
2007 年 1 Friday, 5 January cloudy
liquidity is the biggest problem. Many customers have asked me first shipment to the site, and then pay to me. Although sometimes a good line to the site to pay me, but for various reasons, did not promptly fulfilled, then it means that I won a few days to get back my money in advance. Such cases more than one, I did not click on the highlighted the disadvantages of capital out. I do everything possible and I have good relations with upstream suppliers, when nothing went to sit there, sit supplier, to exchange, to obtain supplier credit period. In my efforts, a few suppliers are willing to give me the goods on credit, so that I can barely working over. However, supplier confidence in me is very fragile , I carefully maintain my reputation. One time, I promised to give a time for payment to the supplier, and no money to pay him, so he, looking Xiaoyu borrowed 200 dollars, only to cope with the past. Slowly, I reached between the suppliers and this understanding: I usually just give them a piece of getting goods storage lists on the line, twice a month Results section. To keep all of the suppliers have also come to me my money, I deliberately put suppliers into two groups: a group of 8 and 25, Results section, another group of 12 and 29, Results section. This is called Peter to pay Paul. In my work day and night, our sales increased rapidly. This month, our monthly sales have reached nearly five million. The bottleneck of capital once again revealed. I put my original supplier is divided into two groups, each consisting of different node models of the time, I think this can be achieved consistently with a number of suppliers money for working capital goals. But in practice it but no so easy, such as sometimes in order to make a deal, I had promised to delay the payment requirements of customers; In addition, not all suppliers are willing to give me the goods on credit. Sometimes, I will use the cash to buy materials, and then on credit to customers. As a result, my sales greater the more the demand for capital. Several times with my storage suppliers to find me my money alone, but I have no money to pay them. Supplier confidence in me have been very fragile, and once this happens, and I never refused to give me the goods on credit.
2007 年 1 Wednesday, 10 overcast
noon, seven or eight suppliers in our crowded in that small office, twitter clamoring for money to me. I really could not really afford the whole body up and down to collect less than 20 dollars. Brother had no money, I humbly and with my supplier explain, hope they grace a few days, once the money arrived, I personally sent them. A supplier fed to a storage lists, said only 80 dollars, last time not to pay him, this can certainly have to pay. I said next time to end with today is indeed money. The man on fire, said: \ \ Some people say I am a liar, and then other people trying to remember I had all the wrong places, and really thought I was a liar , look to stir up. Are impatient, in order to ensure themselves against losses, began to look in my office are no valuables. Brother is to help people repair the computer, the office has three computers for repairs, Suddenly, the computer was holding his shirt. Some people I may owe him two hundred dollars, but also without hesitation took away the computer; some suppliers the money I owed him more likely to get nothing. The scene was very chaotic, I try to keep a clear head, remember who took my stuff. His brother called the police, and other police arrived, the office has been ransacked, and the rest, those who have not received the money, and they haunt me and hold. Police learned of the incident, saying it was economic disputes, do not have a big mess. Having left. I give the rest of those who declared that money, give me three days to cobble together the money I sent to them in the past.
The third part of the bottlenecks encountered
funds (2)
they have no way, we can not for this little money and beat me, right? That they still can not get money. Supplier is gone, my brother and I sat in the office, and the relative silence. Is the younger brother of the client computer, and now being taken away, and how can I do? I believe that our society is mostly good people, as long as I promptly put the money back to them, they will return to our computer. We figured,
la gear mens shoes, we should pay the complete purchase price, was twenty thousand dollars. I give customers a telephone call to the money collected in the past two days more than ten thousand dollars only, there is still more than ten thousand. I carefully thought can take place, it seems not. A few years ago my friends and almost cut off contacts, suddenly find their loans is unrealistic, not to mention, that is, when I was in hospital to find that they have never thought to borrow money. Brother of those friends ? Ever since I was in hospital he went to borrow money, he came to the reputation of an upright, not good to borrow. Friends on the business dealings is not thinking. I suddenly thought of a loan shark. My mother's friend the surname Jiang woman, Ping An Insurance is the woman selling her out in someone else's loan-sharking, I have occasionally talked about listening to mother. Think of usury, my heart Jiling a bit, as if back in the old society. I give the surname Jiang woman called and said that funds a bit tight on the last business, would like to ask her to help take a little money with interest. She asked me how many, I said twenty thousand. Surname Jiang woman flatly refused, she does not worry me . Yes ah, a company of over three thousand pieces premiums are not out to get people to borrow twenty thousand, who would believe? I would like to talk woman-in-law to the surname Jiang, but eventually gave up the idea.
2007 年 1 月 cloudy on Saturday, 13
morning, I asked my brother to the original appointment, where several customers get the money, I went to my good word to say where those creditors. I have to take back my brother's computer, not because of my brother's business matters. Think about it, others ask for your help repair your computer, the results of the computer been used to offset the debt, this thing got out, my brother too much. I have divided into two groups of creditors, a group that took my computer , another group is holding nothing. I have not got anything to creditors over the table states, within three days to give money to them, it seems that three days is not possible anymore. I have a family visit, explain the situation to them and ask them again a few days grace. I said: \ I figured I had to go back to my brother the money enough to redeem the computer, but also a little extra money, you can pay a part of them. In fact, this money for them Buzhi Yu beating, they are just afraid of being cheated. I understand that I need to do is to dispel their concerns. Money and other younger brother came back, I went to another group of creditors. I told them that their money is owed because of cash flow, however, the sorry for them, and now my money back, hope they put the computer to me. Two gave us the computer, there are a lie, do not give. He said he also owes money to others , the computer was somebody else debt, and now in the hands of others. I speak, I owe him more than nine hundred dollars of the purchase price, and that the value of a computer at least 2000 dollars, right? The heart to do business, I really speechless. Anyhow, I also worked with them several times, a quick turn away people would not recognize it? No matter what I Haoshuodaishuo, which is shamelessly Ya. I see it, this is clearly a bully. He knew I was a small broker, just like the river of little fish can not afford to turn waves, deliberately making things difficult for me, she spoke the smell of gunpowder came out. Brother said that he hoped they put the computer back to us, or we are not better than that time. Everyone could see that is a hard word. The house came out two people, said: \ Younger brother slipped and fell to the ground. Teng anger in my heart what got up, picked up a stick next to , facing the man pushed his brother's head was a stick. The man in the hands of a panic stop, just listen to \ In recent years, because of the poor, I feel oppressed everywhere, always goes wrong, always to be insulted. All grievances, I use this stick to be released. Brother was small, was a man on the ground, I rush past, kick open the man to pull his brother from the ground up. Brothers really fight, ah, we two brothers took a guy , while swatting. More and more people crowd, police immediately rushed to the scene.
Nonsense.