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转载自 22380207 2010年08月31日 14:53 浏览(loading...) 评论(0) 分类：个人日记

1. 悟空！你丫这泼猴！得亏你没妈没大爷，不然看为师怎么骂你！我他妈跟你说过多少次了，凡是女妖捉了我当前， 等我信号，等我信号再来救！你少喜笑颜开！你看看为师，每次都被你的忽然闯入惊成松软，再这般几回，为师… …怕是再也没法普渡她们了，悲哉呀！悟空爱徒,ナイキ エアフォースワン，看着为师的眼泪发誓，下不为例,ナイキ エアフォース，可好？
2. 观音菩萨，你把黑熊怪、青狮怪和黄眉老妖这些账号都注销了吧，我们玩不起了，靠。你派我们跟唐 僧师徒作对,エアフォース1，但你把他们级别调那么高，怎么打？尤其孙悟空，设备好属性点高，还有号召技巧，最可气的是实体袭击无效， 火系攻打免疫，魔法系攻击免疫……别说我们单人了，组队也打不外啊！不说了，下了，88。
3. 八戒！你这呆子！这都走了十里地了，你就不能换一首歌哼哼啊！一直唱《求佛》，你看看把师父哭 的！
4. 阿弥陀佛，出家人不打诳语。女檀越，你确实是贫僧自东土出行至今所遇的,nike air force 1，最漂亮、最性感的女子，你看你这秀发，这玉手，这肌肤，这手感……
5. 施主，贫僧乃东土大唐而来，恳请在此借宿一晚……哎？施主？施主你开开门呐，施主？操！
6. 女王，我三藏，我们已到狮驼国，想你，吻你。勿回短信，门徒在，不方便。
7. 你这泼猴，好不程门立雪，刚在那蜘蛛精面前，你为何弄个豹纹围裙装性感？你为何抢为师的风头？闭嘴！我管你 是豹纹还是虎皮！你还晓得自己是谁不？你一个刑满开释职员你在我面前装个毛啊？你看你染一脑袋黄毛拎根钢管 你装古惑仔啊？我他妈……呵呵，阿弥驼佛，善哉善哉，为师有些失态了。
8. 悟空，那鲤鱼精仍是让八戒下水去捉吧。你水性不好，万一溺逝世，为师如何付得起这打捞费啊！哦，不不，八戒 无碍，他本人会浮起来的。
9. 八戒，悟空不在，你去化些斋饭来吧。悟净，你先去饮马。……八戒，八戒，附耳过来。记住！就去刚才我们途经 的那户人家，对，就是一村妇带一小孩儿那家，打那一过为师就闻到香味了，在弄酱肘子，倍儿香！去吧，反正就 一对母子，不给就抢！速去速回！
10. 猴哥儿，当初你就拿这戒指跟紫霞仙子求婚的？你丫真逗！半克拉钻都不，换谁都不鸟你了！当初嫦娥就这么臊我 说：甭跟我说爱不爱，先看钻戒多大块！唉，当初的仙女多事实啊，哎我告你，就这票仙女儿，你要拿一钻石板砖 把她拍死，她都不带喊救命的！
11. 呵呵，此地的集市真是热烈，良久没途经这般熙攘的地段了。哎悟空你看，那多少个从方才就始终追随着咱们的西 域小娃，卷发大眼，好生灵巧！真是浑厚的可恶，哈哈哈……哎？八戒，你的钉耙呢？哎悟净，我们的行李呢？啊 ！我的白龙马呢？！
12. 悟空，八戒，悟净，来于为师眼前。唉……绝非为师非难，但我的教导你们都忘了不成？你我师徒皆为空门中人， 忌戒多多。那不偷窃、不妄言、不恶口、不贪、不�、不痴，你们该时刻谨记于心！既心向佛，若不自修，怎能得 成正果？好，为师来问你们，到底是他妈谁！昨晚趁为师睡觉时，静静登陆偷了我的菜？！
13. 沙师弟你看，就抓一甲由精，猴哥至于把漫天仙人都请来么？说真的哎就这么屡次，你见过这猴子自己逮着过妖精 ？每次都咋咋呼呼的跟妖精叫嚷：“你别走啊！有种你别走！我这就吹哨子叫人来砍死你！”切，神通宽大个屁啊 他！哎你看看这天上来了多少神仙，哟还有几个骑着扫帚的，哇靠把天庭环卫的都喊来了。
14. 。“悟空！休得无礼！哦老人家，贫僧乃东土大唐而来，本日路过此地，不知老人家可否大开便利之门……老人家 ，请莫再辱骂，贫僧替大徒儿报歉……老人家，请莫用手杖杵贫僧……白叟家请动怒……老……老家伙你再动我一 下尝尝？……哎呀我操？悟空！削他！八戒悟净你们也上，牙敲掉眼扎瞎腿打折！善了个哉的！”
15. 悟空混账！不许着手！那几位施主又不是妖怪，你怎可屡教不改，又妄自随便杀生？！……哦？他们是买地筑楼的 商家？阿弥陀佛――，悟净，帮为师拿一下五佛冠；悟空，把金箍棒借为师一用！不，八戒，把你钉耙给我！你妈 的……
16. 师傅――，俺回来了！被八戒这呆子说中了，沙师弟果然好生的闷骚！丫没去化缘，去网吧了。我变飞虫溜进去时 他正在论坛发帖呢！什么《粗暴帅哥游车迟国，巨多PP，请轻砸》……
17. 啊哈哈！唐朝高僧，有礼有礼！敝人乃本县的县令，这二十五名同寅是本县的副县令，哦，外面那百余人，皆是县 令助理。换取通关文�之事不急嘛，先请唐朝高僧与四位高徒，随敝人一起去县衙楼上的莺歌苑娱乐一下？当然有 ！包罗万象，皆为昨日黄花大闺女。保险！相对平安！是敝人自家叔伯弟弟开的...
18. 女儿国国王的MSN签名：长老姓唐，甜到哀伤。
19. 唐僧：阿弥陀佛，悟空，莫再责备为师了，出家人慈善为怀，为师只是见那位施主非常苦楚，才让悟净将他扶骑到 立刻的，为师又如何知道他是此地衙门钓-鱼-执-法的饵呢？好了，快使个隐身法将紫金钵盂和为师的袈裟从衙门弄回来吧。
20. 悟空你没事吧！快醒醒！八戒悟净，你们别跑啊！回来救救为师！啊……别打了，别打了！……贫僧真的是前去西 天求取真经的……只是来此地衙门换取通关文�啊！对对！那张就是通关文�，不是举报信……那几个是我徒弟！ 我们真不是来群体上访的……啊！
21. 悟空，给为师把紫金钵盂和筷子拿来，悟净，你去厨房看看八戒熟了没。
22. 师父，你就上马吧，就走这两步能坚持啥身体？一跟尚你装什么偶像派啊？你看你又让猴哥摘野果去了，改良一下 伙食能死啊？我的存在已经充足论证了素食主义是减不了肥的。
23. 亲们说，假如爱，请深爱。这一刻，我泪流满面。固然我不止一次的对自己说过：“玉兔精,air force 1，你必定要幸福哦！”可，他是风一样的男子，破碎了我优雅的尊严，让我如烟花般寂寞……留下来好么？唐长老 ，西天会有女妖替我爱你么？
24. 悟净，你看你不去饮马，又拿着手机玩自拍。为师讲过，你脸巨口阔胡须旺盛，再怎么嘟嘴也不卡哇伊。来，给我 拍几张，为师教你几个剪刀手造型。
25. 八戒，你巨匠兄已被我赶回花果山，可你却如斯为难重担！仍然不改你被双规前在天庭当引导的恶习！为师让你入 洞穴去探那女妖精的内情,ナイキ エアフォース1，你却偷了个肚兜回来！劣徒啊！早知如此为师应当给你改诨名为九戒！……拿给为师看看，是原味 儿的么？

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