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74280 2009 年 09 月 20 日 11:56 Reading (loading. ..) Comments (0) Category: Personal Diary
1: A man was fishing and caught only the squid.
squid asked him: Do you let me go, do not I eat baked ah.
man said: Yes, I ask you a few questions to test it.
very happy squid said: You test it you test it! The man then put the squid
to bake ..
2: I have too schizophrenic, but now we have recovered.
3: A student in the U.S. driving test, turn left in front of signs suggest that he was not sure, ask the examiner:
the ..
4: One day, 5th Floor, mung bean jumped from suicide, a lot of blood flow into the red beans; has been festering, he is a soybean; wound end up with scars, and finally became black.
5: Small sensible hair, next to the school, the students see his new hairstyle, smiles: Xiao-Ming, your head like a kite Oh-type! Xiao Ming feel wronged, to go outside to cry. I cried myself ~ he flew up ... ... ... ...
6: personal long as onions, walked started to cry ... ....
7: Little Penguin one day asked his grandmother, ah is not a penguin?
8: There is a love of the ...
of corn so they decided to get married ...
wedding day ...
a corn can not find another maize corn ...
the side explosive asked rice flower: the corn you see our house up?
popcorn: Dear, people wear a wedding dress of the Well ... ....
9: music class, the teacher playing a Beethoven tune
Xiao Hua Xiao Ming asked: What do teachers know that playing?
10: Q: Two people fell into the trap, the dead person is called the dead, the living What?
A: Jiaojiu Ming 啦!
11: Question: cloth and paper afraid of?
answer: cloth afraid of ten thousand, the paper just in case.
reasons: not (Brazzaville) afraid of ten thousand, only the (paper) just in case.
12: One day a car ...
sit in the middle of her mother does not know the way a mother ....
mother ass with a stick to hit the driver, said: Which?
Driver: This is my ass ... ..
13: an egg cup of tea to the tea, the results it became boiled eggs; an egg run the Songhua River to swim, the results it becomes egg; have eggs went to a Shandong, turned into a Lu ( halogen) eggs; an egg become homeless, it becomes a wild eggs; an egg on the way careful not to fall, down to the ground
, the results become missiles; an egg go to the yard of the family, turned into a bomb; an egg go to the Tibetan Plateau, the results become a hydrogen bomb; an egg is sick, turned into a bad guy ; an egg married, turned into a jerk; an egg go swimming in the river, turned into a nuclear bomb;
an egg go to the flowers gone, turned into a Hua Dan; an egg riding a horse, holding a knife, that he is a Peking Opera Blues; an egg or female, long ugly, the result become a dinosaur egg; an egg is male, his wife and the other eggs out adultery, and he became a son of a bitch; an egg
... ...
14: host asked: Will the cats climb trees? Eagle Quick: Yes! Moderator: example! Eagle tears: That year, I was fast asleep, the cat climbed a tree ... then there is the owl ...
15: both feces shell dragonfly the welfare lottery, A said: I want to put in a radius of 50 miles award to buy down the toilet, eat your fill! B said: You Ah Tai Su it! If I won the lottery to bag a living, eat fresh!
16: why the chicken cross the street?
answer: to get another side
17: A: The man doing?
B: He was shaking.
A: Why did he want to shake it?
B: Yes he was cold.
A: Oh, not cold-drawn shivering.
A: ... ...
18: Mr. Banana and his girlfriend have a date, walking down the street, the weather was hot, took off her clothes, Mr. Banana, after his girlfriend fell down ... ... ...
19: a sausage to be kept in the refrigerator
feeling cold, and then looked at the other side of the root, with the point of comfort, saying:
20:. Once there was a cotton candy for a long time to play the ball. He said: tired ah, I think I have the soft down of the whole person ... ... ....
21: This diver is very difficult moves, he made a swivel for three weeks then take a half forward somersault backflip three weeks a month.
22: MM University of lost looking for. Met a gentle professor.
MM: May I ask, how can I go to college?
Professor: Only work hard in school, be above University.
23: Secretary and Chief of pooling the elevator, the Secretary has put a section chief, said after fart: you fart! Chief said: I did not put the chief of ... soon to be removed from office, the Secretary said at the meeting: fart great things you can not afford to be magnanimous, to what you use?
24: Miss: It is not good business to do it!
boss: Why?
Miss:
25: A female case of the robbers said, trembling: I also XX schools, Grab your student card, or a robbery in front of XX school,
cheap ed hardy, do not worry,
ed hardy uk, Allah will not grab one of us,
ed hardy clothing!
26: want girlfriend ML, his girlfriend said, not without a bath, cold weather can wash promised After listening to faint, even the brush of the teeth ah ~ ~ ~ (giant conceal joke)
27: A blind man begging in the streets wearing sunglasses.
a drunk man walked by, that his poor, threw him a hundred dollars.
walking a few drunk one turned around to see the blind man to distinguish the sun goes hundred large copy of the genuine.
drunk over snatched the money back: look, he is blind, the toilet, but in fact I was dumb.
28: Avian influenza - are people ... ....
29: A: hey, how do you learn to smoke?
B: I'm Adam and Eve eating the forbidden fruit from the time will be a ~
C: to know why Adam and Eve eating the forbidden fruit?
AB: I do not know!
C: Because Adam did not smoke! (Hint: homonym of a word)
30: someone had just been abandoned by his girlfriend, happened to bump into on the street flirting with ex-girlfriend and new love, he imagined gas, to humiliate them about. Then came forward politely greeted, and was contemptuously new love of his girlfriend, said: p>
:
31: broke up, she gave me a kiss, it felt - like the People's Daily as real ... ...
32: just look at the top of the line of duty on the computer screen has a scroll bar things like news, the text above passes very quickly.
even curious to ask: This is the lyrics it?
Sister: Yeah!
Line of Duty: how flies so fast? Did not see!
Line of Duty: Jay! !
33: Wife: I'm blind, stepped on dog feces would marry you.
Husband: I was really blind will marry you step on dog feces.
dog feces: Oh my good luck! Where are you guys lying to step on ......
34: College Entrance Examination Chemistry question: A and B can be transformed into each other, B in the boiling water can generate C, C in the air oxidation of D, D has the smell of rotten eggs, and asked A, B, C, D all that?
I replied: A is the chicken, B is the raw eggs, C is a cooked egg, D rotten eggs of course, friends!
35: rubber, skins, lion's skin which the worst?
A: rubber.
because the eraser (rubber poor).
36: Q: 3 What is a foot tall thing???
answer: 3 foot tall monster! ! ! ! ! !
37: ants go to the desert, and why the sand did not leave his footprints, leaving only one line?
answer: because it is the bicycle!
home from the desert ant, he did not tell anyone, but his family knew he was coming back! Why ah!
Answer: see his bike parked downstairs ... ....
38: One day, police caught a female drug addicts, police saw the tattoo on her hand and asked her what are you doing to your boyfriend's name tattooed hands, he called the Little good is not ... ah .. is not. quickly said that he had no drugs .. Ah .... soon I saw the woman said
addict with angry eyes looked up to the police that
is hated Rights ....
40: One day, Mel and her boyfriend go for a drive,
car almost out of gas, just next to a gas station, opened in the past, when a sudden gust of her boyfriend's hat blown off.
small beautiful boyfriend said to her:
41: an orangutan through the woods, accidentally taken to a gibbon droppings,
kind of apes the apes cleaned differentiate.
But soon they fell in love, someone asked how did you come together of?
apes replied:
42:: A fat ..........
jumping from high buildings ...
turned into a .......
dead fat man ..
43: There was a duck called the Little Yellow, one day it hit by a car while crossing the road a bit and yelled:
44: There is a penguin, his family home and far away from the polar bear, if by taking the case, have to go to get to 20 years. One day, the penguins stay at home, especially bored, ready to go polar bear to play, and he went out, but walked the road half the time find myself to forget to lock the door, which had gone for 10 years, but the door still
may lock ah, so the penguins and go home to lock the door. Lock the door after starting to look for polar bears penguins again, mean that he spent 40 years to the polar bears and penguins to their home ... ... to knock on the door said: What did he say?
45: Little white rabbit hopped into the bakery and asked: rabbits sadly away. The next day, the rabbit hopped to the bakery,
ed hardy shop,
On the third day, the rabbit hopped to the bakery, rabbits out of money:
I bought two!
46: Little said: :
47: A teacher asked the students how to reduce the white pollution? A student: the lunch box made of blue.
48: a man, his stomach is not good. One day, he came to stomach the hospital, the doctor said: He said:
49: plane, a stewardess asked one little girl said:
50: There was a polar bear and a penguin playing with the penguins to the hair one by one to pull down, pull finished, on the polar bear said: themselves one by one to pull the hair down, turned to penguin said:
51: Q: chief of the African cannibal eat?
A: people, ah!
Q: That day, the chief is ill, the doctor told him to be a vegetarian, he eat?
A: eat a vegetable!
52: two sausages in the fridge, over a long time,
a bit of a shake with the sausage, wow! Cold ah ~!
other sausages very surprised to say, Huh? How can you say sausage?
53: One day,
Bucks have only run faster and faster,
went to the last,
it becomes a high-speed Bucks.
54: One day, a teacher took a group of adopted children to the mountains of fruit,
she announced that: go mining fruit.
set the time comes, all the children are gathered.
Teacher: United States: stool.
55: The teacher asked the class for small explicitly mentioned, Little feet are silent.
Teacher: Xiao-Ming?
Teacher: Xiao-Ming? ?
Teacher: Xiao-Ming! How you going ah? You know the answer in the end ah? Anyhow, Zhiyi Sheng ah!
Xiaoming: squeak ~
56: elephant asked the camel: 'Mimi how long in your back? '
Camel said:' dead away, I do not and the penis with a long speech in the face of things!
57: How to drink larger cups?
read Compassion
58: Xiao Ming: A few degrees today?
Xiaohua: minus 3 degrees Ah!
Xiao Ming: No wonder this cold.
59: A little boy came home from school through the window and get a glimpse of a woman lying in bed wild man rubbing my chest, I cried to men!
The next day the little boy out of the window out of date and from a woman who found a man lying,
the little boy went home and cried in bed mad rubbing my chest I want to bike to bike!
60: Once upon a bird,
him every day through a corn field,
but unfortunately,
patch of corn field one day, a fire,
all the corn turned into popcorn!!!
the bird in the past after ......
that snow to cold dead ...
61: that there is a polar bear, because the snow was too harsh, and have to wear dark glasses to see things,
but he can not find the sunglasses, so close their eyes to find crawling around on the ground, goes up Yeah, the hands and feet dirty crawl to find sunglasses. Wear sunglasses, mirror a photo, and found: Oh, I'm a panda.
62: science class the teacher asked: Why is a cold body after death?
answered.
teacher asked: no one know?
At this time, there is a student stood up and said: That is because 心静自然凉.
63: Xiao Ming in a car accident lost a leg,
Xiao Ming in a car accident and lost a leg,
another accident lost his primary and secondary out the other leg,
a car accident Small Ming also lost his leg,
fact Xiao Ming is a dog.
64: One day, A, B, C three people go out, hang around for a long time to go on the road. A
later said,'m bored, I want to play B.
then C read A glance onto the alley to go play put the B.
65: three rabbit is a long pull shit
first article.
second only sphere of.
third is actually a triangle.
ask it: I Yong Shounie's.
66: When will want reunification of Taiwan?
buy instant noodles when
67: One day Xiao Qiang asked his father:
68: Xiao Ming home, next door to the dog suddenly ran out of bite him, he angrily picked up the bamboo fight it,
the dog's owner to see Xiaoming beat his dog, was unhappy to say: the dog also depends on the owner, heard of it?
when Xiao Ming said: good! I will be watching you and your dog while playing.
69: Bugs: flowers, you used my pencil it?
flowers: No, I am useless.
Bugs: You're useless?
flowers: I'm useless!
Bugs: Well, you are useless in 17 people admit to the
70: ants after falling off from the Himalayas is how to die?
answer: starvation. Floating down because too light ~ So take a long time ...
80: Why is the dog getting smaller and smaller?
A: Because it is farther and farther.
81: Once there was a horse! It fell into the sea Paozhaopaozhao.
Therefore, it becomes a
only a horse the other horse friends, in order to find the horse fell into the sea, only to fall into the water. Later, he became
only the third horse is white. It in order to find the missing two friends, came to the traffic chaos of the city. It is several successive sets
car to run over, making him appear a good few black stripes.
result, it become a
fourth only three horses in front of peers in order to find one day that it came to a factory, the result is transformed into
But then, the horses eat or escape the fate, all was as into the , a group of people could not help but after reading this joke, said:
Finally, to commemorate this joke, it was compiled into a class, we call it
82: Xiao Ming 20 million owed to underground banking, Little implored him more than a few days grace period,
banks who said: tomorrow we must also, otherwise ... ..., chopped off two fingers;
acquired then ... ... to cut 4; the first 3 days, then ... ...
Xiao Ming: Is not the person has a
banks: NO, to the time you become a little jingle.
83: a personal encounter God
day is good when God suddenly going to give that person a wish
God asked: Do you have any desire to do?
man then said: I heard the cat have 9 lives, then please give me 9 Mania now!
God said: Your desire to achieve slightly!
day, that person idle boredom,
want to die a death forget , 9 Mania Well anyway, to lay the tracks
,
results of a train in the past,
the man was dead.
Why is this?
because it sets the train cars are 10.
84: a guy to the hospital to be examined, and did a lot of testing.
doctor said: There is good news and bad news! Read your test results, I find that you have potential homo######ual tendencies! ! And difficult to cure!
this guy said: Oh my God! That good news?
doctors shy to say: I found you quite lovely yeah
85: a hunter with his dogs to hunt for a slip of the day in the woods are not prey.
dark, not willing to keep riding, he was transferred in the woods,
horse suddenly said: 'You do not give me a break, like exhausted me ah! ? '
Shocked to hear the hunter immediately roll down from the horse, pulling dogs to run away, ran panting under a tree during a lesson, the dog patted his chest and said to him:' scared me, Ma actually talk! '
So hunters are scared to death on the spot, QQ space funny log.
86: wolves, tigers and lions who play the game will be eliminated? Wolf
because: Momotaro (out of the wolf)
87: A day pick a mirror facing the mirror of the talk about the importance; this good side of people familiar ah
B said; is? I see (taking the mirror), I ah! me that you have do not know ah?
88: A tomato and tomato B to go shopping.
B Q A: Where are we going?
A did not answer.
B asked: Where are we going?
A or no answer.
B asked again.
turned on Tomato Tomato A B said: We are not tomatoes come from? Why do we say that?
89: Once there was a white and a black cat white cat
day
cat fell into the water to save it up to the Black Cat White Cat said
the word
Q: What does?
90: A:
91: two flies to eat.
small big question: Big Brother, why do we eat shit every day?
large, said: Do not say when eating something so disgusting! !
92: Cao Chuan Lu Su in
: ... ... wrong with you?
93: A monkey eating peanuts before going into the bottom a chance to eat first.
this manager explained: It has been fed peaches,
results Peach not pull out, scare the monkeys,
ed hardy online, and now we must eat a good amount.
94: peripheral hospitals to prevent the escape of 100 patients, two patients still want to escape the mental hospital. Over the wall in the beating in the darkness to
. To 30 under the wall,
to 60 under the wall,
What you tired?
95: Xiao Ming: in a stream, a large treasure, Nobita, ambition, David A total of four boys ########## in the play in the water,
suddenly was electric fish in the stream, the four boys were power to it! Guess an electrical supplies.
Allcorn: ah .... do not know Jesus ~
Xiao Ming: The answer is Hey!
96: Small Luo: Dad, why do we have a hump?
Camel Dad: Because there is no water in the desert, there hump can store water ah!
small Luo: Dad, why we need a long woolen?
Camel Dad: Because the desert wind, we have relied on block wind and sand,
ed hardy sunglasses, we will see ah!
small Luo: Dad, why do we have a foot thick?
Camel Dad: Because the desert is sand, so that we stabilize ah!
small Luo: Dad, the last question, then we are at the zoo doing?
97: hen incubates the eggs, with eggs from its ass drilled out
hen:
98: personal name is
99: My girlfriend invited me to her house to watch movies. To her home after,
pen she wrote on the wall 'movie' word,
watch the two of us up to sit on the toilet.
100: a morning, to a known tough Executive Morning soldier asked: br> soldier replied: