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Old 04-27-2011, 08:04 AM   #1
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When I was a hormonally-challenged guy of 11 hardly ever, the Miss America Pageant was a very huge handle to me. After all Charm Bracelets Outlet, it was the one night of the year when the web trenched The Partridge Family and Room 222 in like of pretty women sauntering about in swimsuits. And I would do anything to be capable to reside up and watch the show. Anything! If Bert Parks had needed a kidney to work on Links Jewellery Online, I would have gladly given him one of mine, such was my desire to see this remarkable piece of TV fare. This was the same desperate need for biological information that drove some boys my age to embezzle the National Geographic journals from the dentist's bureau or prowl the Sears catalog out to the barn for a little window shopping through the underwear segment. I memorize the first time I saw a brassiere in a Sears catalog. I thought it was some variety of prosthetic device. Yes, to a amplifying juvenile man living in the Alabama sticks in the late sixties, the Miss America Pageant was a very huge deal, naturally.
These days, however, the Miss America Pageant holds about as much pray to me as a long motorcar ride with my mother-inlaw. Maybe it's because I'm sliding pate premier into forty and the sight of bubbly, toothy, bathing beauties just doesn't do many for me anymore. Like a geriatric Playboy Bunny, my turn-ons now comprise uninterrupted siesta period and my fashionable vibrating Lazy Boy recliner. However Links Accessory, I don't consider I'm lonely when I say that Miss America has scamper her course. She's chance age cap, a tradition whose time has passed.
We live in a time when you can have your house washed by bikini-clad maids or have your car washed at bikini-clad car washers. We have Baywatch, the Playboy Channel Links of London Watches, NYPD Blue, Calvin Klein ads, Madonna and, of course, Victoria's Secret Links of London Watches Wholesale, that convenient little classify with the black, lacy prosthetic devices. What the heck do we need Miss America for?
Last Saturday night apparent the 77th Miss America Pageant and I sat through it for old times' sake. Okay Jewellery, I did flip to a rerun of "World's Funniest Surgical Bloopers" during the talent competition, but that's only because classic piano, opera and badly sung show tunes have been known to induce cranial bleeding in men my age. Can't be too scrupulous, you know.
The Pageant's theme this annual was "Everything Old Is New Again." I guess the "New" claim is in light of the fact that this was a year of firsts. For example, this was the first year contestants could wear two piece swimsuits if they so lusted (three of the top 5 finalists, including the champion, Katherine Shindle of Illinois, did). This was likewise the first year 1 contestant sported a stabbed bellybutton ring while different showed off a tattoo. And Miss Mississippi had on shoes, of all things! Can you dream? And these girls phone themselves character models. I don't think so.
All this piercing and tattooing made me a mini nervous. I about anticipated Miss New York to have a peppery roseate Mohawk and a knitting prod via her neb. She didn't, of course, merely if she had it might have made the show extra amusing. Two piece bathing suits or not, this year's show was about as exciting as watching an egg hatch. The highlight of the show was when Miss Arizona's face started to twitch afterward smiling non-stop for 2 hours. Let me give you parade organizers 2 words of advice for next year's fiasco: mire wrestling.
Speaking of the organizers, marathon officials went out of their access to make it very remove namely the Miss USA Pageant namely no a charm compete. To the inverse, this is a contest of comprehension and individuality and poise and charm, designed to enhance and further the reasons of the American matron. The fact that there's a swimsuit championship is equitable coincidental Links of London Bracelets Outlet, I suspect.
Besides, they mention, the swimsuit suit competition accounts for only 15% of the overall score. Miss America is chosen not for her beauty, but for her brains. Do they really expect us to believe that? The most intelligent woman triumphs? Okay, nice. Let's obtain rid of that grating artist competition and come up with some real tests of intelligence.
Let's have Miss South Dakota and Miss Rhode Island activity Risk as twelve hours with not bathroom damage. Let's take Miss Michigan out behind and have her rebuild the carburetor ashore a '63 Pontiac Catalina. Let's have Miss California expound aboard the methodology of amount physics while attempting to make a Jacob's Ladder with a piece of string that's too short. Let's have Miss Wyoming do the New York Times crossword puzzle in ink! Let's have Miss Kentucky poise my checkbook!
Of way, they'll have to do all these things while dressing swimsuits.
This is, at the end of the day, Miss America.
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