An often forgotten feature of dealing with cancer is what I
call 'after the event'. That is, when your loved one has passed
on. The coming months are a particular
difficult time for
such people.
There is a real danger that during this time the grieving person
resorts to addictive substances to get through the trauma. This
is understandable but not always the best course of action. You
can find myself
drinking far too much alcohol (a lot more
than the recommended amount per week) for the months following
the death.
My
experience is that you will then gradually come down
to a reasonable level. I'm not advocating drinking as a way of
coping. But I'm realistic in that some people will go down this
root,
replica Versace Sunglasses, so be aware of such behaviour. [I found myself going this
way after my father's death in February 2005.]
Being angry and crying, even at the same time, are very common
emotions following the event. Don't feel embarrassed by this. It
is perfectly normal. Just try to avoid hurting yourself and
others! I found that walking in the countryside was helpful,
especially up and down hills. The
physical effort will
make you feel better and get rid of some of that pent up emotion.
Family & friends should keep a close eye on each other if
possible. Following such a trauma it is often the case that
people will shut themselves away and shun any
social
contact. Pick up the telephone and call each other. Keeping
in touch with someone who has lost a husband, wife or partner is
very, very important.
They have been used to being with a particular person,
Fendi Sunglasses discount, often for
decades, so try to imagine the shock when that person is taken
away from them; especially if it is sudden. Try to
arrange some event (the theatre, a film etc) so that they
will still feel part of the 'family' and it will get them
socialising again.
It is natural to be more attentive immediately after the event
but don't let it slip into long periods between contact in the
future.
They say 'Time Heals'. I say that 'Time makes it hurt
less'.
At the end of the day death is part of life. We just need to
learn to cope with it.
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