Why ought we obtain marital

why we married, because of love? Because of the age to get married? Because it looked very similar in all aspects? Because of family oppression? Or because of unwanted pregnancies? Because children depend on the solitude to companionship? Many of my friends acquaintances, these cases are. One girlfriend said to me after the divorce, not the ex-husband discouraged, is the marriage itself discouraged. I asked why, she said that her life would have imagined marriage is not the same, and I think, to imagine the marriage, no matter with which men are not created. I asked: So you and your ex-husband said that your ideal marriage?

just say the beginning, she said, was that he laughed, no way to say later. I continue to ask: your ideal marriage, what like?
her silent child: that is, two people ... ... too good to prayer.
I proceed to inquire her. Finally she said: the house must have a few apartments, two people can have a separate space, all of the dry matter, the weekend's activities to be a bit two people to play outside on the man's request is that he can share some of the housework , pay attention to hygiene, willing to partake in clean-up.
her apply is not a morsel too many, but her ex-husband do not want to meet her, he likes to sleep late seeing TV to activity games, do not like to go outside, that housework is a woman thing, it does not matter with her.
they array these chores, arguing for two years, eventually destroying up. Start there is no no love, her ex-husband bought her jewelry, buy fashionable clothes, never average, she was never out of control over his gathering to bring, and she ate a good thing also memorize to give him back a month remember phone calls to her in-laws.
between them is not a answer of money, that she wants to, he can not give her to him, he felt nobody, because he also paid the same, but also good for her, do her good for him Should not it?
after she finished with me, said: I never said that the ideal marriage with others what I think this can not insist, insist too boring.
However, if your ideal, but your heart a good personal secluded, how do you make the other half of you have a thorough understanding of, he does not understand your needs, you need to accept, how can you have a a better life together?

We are not for an
before marriage, let's ask each other, your ideal of marriage, what it was like, this is necessary.
what you need, what I need, we understand each other's needs, the marriage of the imagination, will be gradually implemented.
modern marriage, is not so simple meals night after work at home, we need a snug, safe, lukewarm little world, not picky, avoid, sordid, idle, these things, destroyed more than marriage , will destroy the positiveness of your marriage.

So, again: we must keep living together to marry another person, we must work together to create life, to enjoy happiness together as parents , along with health, happiness, strong enough to finish this long life.
we have granted, or is forced to admit, the reality is the most essential, a man always succumb to reality, this ideal thing, but hyperbole, between ideals with reality, there will always be gaps, We dare not say, through our exertions, in fact, can achieve the ideal, the ideal can become reality.
Because we are afraid, afraid to face the coarse reality, idealism is just a drifting joke.
Because we are afraid, afraid to get after a second effort or failure, will still farther from ideal.
But you have not thought about marriage is that we can not give up most of an ideal, for it will with your life, for us, once in a lifetime, life is always.
us to school upset, upset to work, to wear anguish, in order to work in the A or B to work in the interests of gains and losses calculation forever,Supras, we have to buy a clothes from the texture to the price of refined over and over, but , love a person, together with a person, we often make a decision speedily.
we take the circumstance to enlighten yourself: This is feelings, feelings can not be abstracted with, there must be love, conditions almost on the line, then he will become good, the house is not something you can buy a marriage, not his heart things, marriage can amplify.
which you give up a good first step.
We do not want to face differences, we love the push is totally dedicated to the approval of differences, think it is to love, think this is a marriage should make sacrifices.
actually did not.

difference is that we have become their own, not someone else's reason. Your other half is not good enough, he was just not the same as you.
Unfortunately, once we began dating, putting two people as a person. also creak to, grinding teeth, drooling ... ... your heart can exchange it? Can interchange just fine.
our hearts, not a U disk, which record things, by whom is not so effortless to peruse, even now your wife, does not work.
not veto the subsistence of the ideal, the ideal is that we want to have a life, why be embarrassed to confess?
until after its repeated Ouqi, knotted, as earlier told him: I want this, this also this, that and I do not like that, I hate is that I will never accept is another .
(for the convenience of call, I mentioned here have taken a woman took the name of it, in fact, everyone is a bloom.)

Camellia my friend, her husband detest her mention him every day: what to wear certain colleagues today, what to wear, what cosmetics to use certain colleagues recently, when students gathered to purchase certain of what kind. The first he knew nothing
those brands, and the second he felt she was too vain, trivial, third hurt his pride, he felt that she meant to say: how we can not afford anything, how do we so poor ?
kind of nauseated look and he stimulated her, she would say, the more trouble the more she said. Until the last quarrel.
In fact, the camellia's idea is uncomplicated, she hopes he tin understand that these asset are a gift from their husbands - she really wanted a gift, of way, out of pretension, she also wanted some good things, she put these two mixed up - she wanted her husband to buy her a lot of good things, the best is her preference, some of the big things.
she hopes he can watch her speak, her words can be interested, if she can then ask: Oh, that what is what, so you? Do you like it, that I bought for you ah?
Camellia said: even if he does not buy, they just say is good too, at least, so I am happy happy ... ...
This is often mistake a female, we always felt that he should understand that such a simple a material of course, how he does not understand.
but men just do not understand, he must wait for you to tell him: I am a woman, a woman like a gift, send gift to my point I would be happy to send if you can see what the magazine's luxury catalogue above residence and price Note: You can buy much cheaper in Hong Kong.
is not very comic? But this is the reality, between man and woman to receive message asymmetry has been exaggerated to you live I live in Venus, Mars - that the globe is what you do is Safari?
before marriage, and your marriage together describe each other's ideal marriage is a good thing, so you can find many hidden onward of the differences, you can advance to think about how to solve.

second question: how much your ideal marriage gap
imagine you have to tell each other very well, their ideal of marriage look like, assuming there is no talking to you falling out, and no despise each other's small ideal. Suppose you own ideals, made it very clear, down to the future to give birth to several houses, the children room to have a few skylights and the like.
can be hundred percentage sure, you and his mind the ideal of marriage are two differ things, even if your tall approximation, the picture is the same, then there will be the difference among 3D and plane.
Do not cry, do not dissatisfied, not angry, here once again remind you is two completely different people. Even if two people describe the same thing, say out differently, not to mention you on the ideal makeup of the schoolroom.
let alone talk about the ideal life to no advantage. talk about the ideal, at least in advance so you can see, your marriage will be easy to go wrong in those places.
peach my classmates, even those of us friends all know thatshe is the greatest appetite to go a few locations, catching advantage of the young tourist travel. She is very determined to tell her husband, get married each year out to play.
her husband is not without promise, promise very well. Basically, Peach said, after all the things about marriage, he coincided very well, she asked him if the idea, he said: listen to you.
it is very sweet, you heard the other half said so, is it? In fact it?
In fact, this is a perfunctory, this is not a reality before the appearance, without any consideration and commitment to the perfunctory. Tourism need the money, takes time, but also mood, he does not think about these things, because that's not his problem, he just let her happy happy, do not want to carefully consider this issue.
marriage did not go on a trip once a peach, is insufficient money, he did not want to go, he told her directly: I do not mind, I work very tired, I'm busy, I have to work overtime on weekends.
who fights for this many times, until finally, his true thoughts come: my parents at home so hard, I have the nerve to go out to play?
Peach said: that we take them out to play, you can not?
they are older, fewer money.
but we did not give less money?
short this problem not been resolved, only a small peach ideal in marriage shattered. She divorced more than once thought. She began to understand her husband's ideal marriage: The best arrangement is to follow his wife, do not have any additional prices, the money saved, to their parents. He was very just, both parents gave.
However, this is not the life you want peach. Marriage is not to make money, save money, savings to their parents so simple, she wanted life, than this superb.
marriage talk about the ideal, he is also perfunctory than you? He is impatient and said: so many pieces of what? So many things you want to understand? Forget it Forget it, you heard it, all I must abide his wife.
many men because of women's sensitive, fearful to speak their true thoughts, and he has a lot of ideas, they would feel also many, yet afterward marriage he will consider to do so, because those fancies in his heart, has been profoundly rooted.
peach husband thought, if they can describe it is this: we want to make money, I am the last ten-year the main goal is to make money, money is proposed to filial piety, filial fidelity is a lot to give money, both parents are Yes. Also, we want to save money in the future have babies spend a lot of money, if we obtain sick is money. Enjoy life this does not matter to me, a garbage of money to enjoy life, you love a woman misspent, do not pluck me.
he is not wrong, from the arrival point of view, he is a plain, tall, very thoughtful man, really listen to peach, it can be for her to discontinue, every day, washing trays, he came a little painful, so the money seriously, this is also normal.
problem is that the two of them ideal not only a colossal difference, and is not compatible. He never compliment her new clothes, he never gave her flowers, he heard the travel is laborious to see on his face.
So, you really need to know, what his vision is, you do not temper tantrums to frighten his thoughts go back, if you really want to marry him, you need to retard first how much your ideal gap ? Large to what amplitude?

your understanding of happiness, and if it were not for, at least do not undermine each other. If, for him, is creature able to save all the money, then you see the mountains, the waters of the well-being, ceased to exist, also, if you travel, to achieve their ideals, for him, your
then you need to ask each other, you can make a big sacrifice?
Peach's problem is very simple, by the time the expense of her husband a little money, little time on it, in counting to her business tumble, what did not come, they are not low earnings couple, that money is not bad, her husband also not so busy, even a weekend pumping out.
but he felt that this principle, the principle can not accommodate, adjust your time you will have a second, that this continues to exist no less than the money.
horrifying? She really did not know before marriage that he thought so, she really thought he would altogether listen to her.
them into another marriage position, stalemate, stalemate is the relationship continues, two people continue with a variety of family duties, but has nothing to do with happiness.
This is not to her husband what he accustomed to this simple blunt daytime, peach argument is: this continues, I am not die, that is lunatic.
peach you can say the ideal is too high, why not ask for her to reprehend, you can sympathize with her, why is met such a person. You can also sympathize with peach husband, he could not see his wife's smiling face, I'm afraid it is difficult to own happy.
ideal gap, there is always, more conflicts, because these gaps caused, unfortunately, we even academic our marriage, this man told us how different, or illusions, he will change it ? Marriage will change him? I pay some more, possibly he will get better, right?
... ...
another couple of stories on the common, and asparagus-law relationship is encountered. She of course does not include the ideal of marriage to live attach with her mother, but because her husband insists that she give way and the results-law can not get along, divorce.
they say is consistent with the ideal marriage: for a house for the automobile, raising children, the future, how is a family, we are going, how it will be too bad? No special requirements, two people are really, do not pay attention to small flavor of what tiny atmosphere, and hope to live a good, a few years younger to take avail of this business to do it better.
stands to cause that such a common goal, after getting married should be able to manner a good small family, happy I will not speak, at least it is settled.
they did not consider the third person, but a Them from eating habits to daily customaries, from the expense habits to leisure activities, even ###### life, have lost their liberty.
these is you can not think of marriage, can not see. We are the ideal portrayal, too vague, we always feel that life can not have so clearly set, we see a car and house parents are dead, it was a joke.
jokes very rude phrase, it is snobbery, but this description is remove. If our description of the ideal, can be compressed into a slogan or tagline, and perhaps more brutal than its more snobbish.
mom is not bad, divorce bears say the same, she just think she is good for children.
bears say that they are trivial ground of confidence, wanted to take good care of the retired, her mother is very sad, that divorced all his own mistake, I would not be together with her son too. Son of the bears, said: I did not have a good skill for you, after you find a better bar.
What is more sad than this, we are good, we even understand each other's difficulties, but we just can not live together, in particular, can not live in a marriage relationship.

third question: how to describe your ideal marriage
brief it, we know thatin the ideal of marriage should talk about your marriage , talking about the ideal marriage, it should understand each other's gaps, these differences will directly affect us to modify, modify their ideal of marriage, once and for all, two people can marry, the future rules of the game, preferably taking into account the two people ideal.
is not to say, my ideal, I must get, even at the consumption of front and then the people at this, this is happiness? Or that, for him, I can be mashed, ignored, pleased to see him happy, I happy?
extreme is never cheerful, the variety of impulse and passion, will deny your reasonable, it will hurt hurt yourself. Love you, he must bear you give a better idea; and needy you, even now his ideals as their own ideals, the detriment of self, people are not necessarily obliged.
prelude we really love, really in good belief to face later in life. I think you will not talk about with her hair master your ideal marriage, with friends, you may say, maybe because their parents said, but you should tell him to say the most, with that love you, you also identified love him, your future child's dad, your life associate, tell him about your ideal marriage.
lot of the JM thread said, communication is very important. Like many things, we know thatis very important, but to do, really hard.
we feel, the couple discussed the publish silly, marriage as an issue to argue, of special note, seems silly, marriage took a variety of trifling first to get married on the desktop, but also as something to argue, that simply ... ...
However, we are seriously apply the mask, we tirelessly on gossip, we see from the TV to see is an hour, we eat talk shopping hair, as a lot of time to spend, spend the same energy.
we prefer to do these, do not want to discuss before marriage, married problems, together with the other half do not want to advance to face those troubles and predictable differences in advance to think about a solution.
it is only because we are afraid of conflict, we are afraid that, we fear the same will happen with the loss of control after the quarrel, and sometimes our hearts he knew how the kind of person, but also means you can see him looking at marriage change, let us hope married life on alley, it is best to go about the path to our ideal of marriage.
This is actually impossible. Many of the marriage, but we paid the price in order to understand and discern through a person, in order to understand what we actually want. Must await until all illusions are shattered, broke all the contradictions, we know, the original decision was a blunder. Perhaps it is beauteous, you love, eat, drink are pandering, but you have not had any problems with the consideration of the outlooks of any specific things are incongruous. Wrong is bad, love is not erroneous, but in the name of love, merely cling to their own hopeless relationship is bad.

is that you have the ideal marriage is, the more detailed the better, in fact, so you met the person you are prepared to marry, your ideal step by step with reality will close until the mixture.
then you will in a few words in passing, that as a friend to write the beginning: that two people had a good ah.
not so simple, you must elaborate, the process you describe the ideal of marriage, actually you really need to understand their process, it is definitely not a word or two will be skillful to say clearly.
a lot of people do not understand themselves, not good to describe one thing, to figure out their own ideas, then you need to give yourself some time to tell myself that this is something you should do more than beauty, heaviness loss are important.
course, we can unwittingly get married, we can put all the good men who are on, maybe we met a good man, you really happy to finish this life. However, on the street so many men, which one would come up, give it your ideal? Even if there were such people, to love you as his maximum ideal, then his own ideals, what should recompense who?
So, you still sit down, a cup of tea, talk to yourself a good talk it, listen to the voice of your heart, the ideal of marriage, in fact, has never been distant.
the foundation of an ideal marriage: Are you ready to pay to get and what kind of love.
I think, love marriage, we must first independent of each other and respect each other's independence, and could safely open their hearts, then is communication, understanding, trust, sympathy, inclusiveness, solace ... ...
Love is not maniacal dispose of

such as sunflower woman, who inherited her mother's tradition, like all domination, like do not ask each other to make decisions in advance, she has always been to muffle the other half to accept, one day suddenly broke out, because she always He wanted to break, family gossip that forever, he commonly chose automatically percolate the ears, sleep over it when not listen, she was repeatedly and anew taken the distress to shake him, she felt that this is civilization, between husband and wife, efficient communication. She was mystified by the eruption of a man, then she began to ten times the power back, listing himself as he did everything. There
Ms. Rose and her boyfriend is very aggressive, he spend a lot of time in work and study, she recommended a little distraction and abatement, he will be despised, he also asked her to consider driver's authorization, test qualification, diplomatic language classes, and he has a sense of emergency, that life must be flourishing is correct. Rose ended the qualification examination, had obsessive-compulsive muddle, she was always afraid of myself to forget what life arrangements, she was afraid of phone suddenly rang, he was there shouting: you went to school did not, ah, do not waste fares it!

we love, we so into the marriage, but we always separate the two people who who can not replace life. We are the parents of that generation of people who inherited a disability is this: because of love, put themselves and their children confused, we do not consciously played the character of parents and children. I love you, I do a lot for you, so you must listen to me. I love you, I was right, so you must obey me.
I love you, you against me, that hurt me, just do not love me.
this mindset, which is a precursor to destroy happiness. Whether it is their absence of independence, or to coerce every other to give up independence, so that marriage will become thorny road, you will be very disturbed, very ache, maddening, because you all to love, but I do not know true love is the mutual grow, adult, rather than your request, to arrange everything.
Miss Xiang Rikui marriage continues, she studied is: do not perturb him in the Pro before working to slumber, while he was bad-tempered, she was replaced at open forum at the dinner chart, her everyday sensibilities, always has the crowd , whether he is listening not listening. She often told us: my home so and so, is so boring, very quiet.
she did not understand, Mr. X is the best debater in the campus, with students gathering, he forever jokes that we smile man.
he give her the right to speak, willing to play a silent person, in exchange for peace. In fact, he does not like the exchange, but she never thought otherwise. When he has anything to say, she always interrupted him, always roam somewhere another.
marriage so he thought she was lovely, the girl's naivete, he was tired of marriage, accept their destiny, and accept the marriage thing is boring parts.
Miss Xiang Rikui Like many women, favor, do not understand, is not willing to approve what was originally a man, she has always been disinclined to create a where were entire removed.
Ms. Rose's boyfriend left her, she was very sure he is completely right, because his life will be extraordinary effort and more perfect, but she was satisfied with a secure job, want another woman like to talk about games you can eat film love shopping. Her ex-boyfriend is puzzled, he said angrily: how to do so valueless after ah. Can not say that he does not love her, he finally was concerned about her future, he is a panic that their Otherwise, it is love, there is no available, this life has no value.
You see, we are independent of each other two people, this is not a simple thing it? However, why the first to let us perplexed, at first is this it?
Because we kas long asmarriage is after the two of us, we must depend on each other finish the repose of my life, so we put love into a rule, bound to each other, we destroy his independence, he is vulnerable, dependent. Love is not neutral tether, tied two, back to back sink, forget the original way.
often we describe the ideal of marriage, when not consciously written as: I want ... then perhaps you should first think: I can give.
give and receive in the process, we really feel the savor of happiness.
you can start writing: I want to get what kind of love, I need a man to love me how to have those things he has done I will be very pleased, and what things he has done I will be very angry, or even mention I'll turn hostile.
Again, I can give each other anything, I would love in what way a person in front of this man, he is happy I love it? In fact, he does not like those things, but because I have been put up?
clearly write down your collapse.

ideal marriage of structure: different attitudes and perceptions can coexist coexist
not deny, we must firmly remember that. Family life, not the eastern air dominating over the west, is the overwhelming westerly wind, such a rule for the feudal society, a get together with people all day long, the power skirmish as the focus of work and life. And we live in a modern society, work is our focus, if we have a strong marriage, we must constantly fight for their positive side, the other side constantly give up give up, you will find that this marriage can not create a happy person, you had with him the joy, will be expended clean.
coexistence need to bottom line, you must know, what things, is the only time it will not even be forgiven. You can not suppress their grievances, you can not take the patient in exchange for peace, otherwise your bottom line has become a threshold, and no one can across. Hyacinth was a moderate and chaste wife, her husband has a bad habit, often drunk, wanton words, friends do not want to take him gradually, we would like to see a good scatter from person to drunken nonsense mouthful , wrapped up no end of a personal trouble, even more frightening is that he drove, how to persuade not work, and had to drive over the hyacinth from home, with his home.
hyacinth not drink, she was a smell of liquor on other people sick, but her husband came home every night to go take all relied on, including him clean up vomit.
gradually it became a model: I hate you drunk - I chosen to get drunk, because you will forgive me - I better sober will make up to break the bottom line of discontent, hyacinth think they have a happy marriage, until one morning she received a phone call, her husband, drunk driving, was seriously harmed.
she is a doting mother, has been indulging him, she did not floor in front of him, not even the minimum principle, we always thought that this is true love. Where there is domestic violence the same woman, again and again beaten back again and again, because only then will a man is menial, will give her enough dignity, so she can return to the original with a bruised scars of life in, adhere to the next hammering.
no right and wrong in principle and the notion of love, of course, will make people feel sweet, indulgent, but the result will be worse.

boyfriend ordered water lily lady love, she totally love listening to her beck and call as soon as he withstand her crying: you do not love me. She contacts the longest boyfriend, underwear from the washing to do PPT file, all for her single-handedly, there are times to meet her boring boyfriend send txt messages, text messages just because she did not react promptly, she began to trouble a poured. Coax her boyfriend, coax is not good, to do housework, she is still trouble, down the turn of her underwear and socks, her boyfriend finally collapsed, a very happy life, he said he did hate to wash underwear, this is more annoying is that she is entirely as he should do for her, love me, you should spoil me, love me, you should not say that I was right or wrong. Otherwise, it is not love me.
adhere to put the water lily madame as spouse, she decided that she would love to do her servant, in life, she is not a good person to get along, never knowing what others think have anything to do with her. Self and selfish, in fact, only a slender line. Difference is, people are very self-harm someone else's territory do not pay attention, and people for their own selfish interests, ignoring the feelings of others.
selfish marriage is terrible, because you only focus on their needs, while ignoring the other half, you put each other as a sacrifice for love of you all the principles of the people, so you can ride roughshod, do however they want, there is no bottom line, this relationship will sooner or later go wrong.
in their base line above, we will find that getting by is a really good thing actually, we can be lenient, caring for other small problems small disadvantage, we will find he is very generous, to love the original, we can pay scale up.

Ms. Tulip marriage found that her husband's daily routine with nothing in it, she used to wake early, men used to linger up late, they quarrel over this, even germination of the idea of ​​divorce. Finally, she also bought a bed, her own bedroom in the early hours, to be a diligent lark, inspired by her husband can come in the night time work will not be invited to ask three to four reminders sleep. At the same time, she will in some morning, went to his bedroom to kiss her husband, told him to wake to eat breakfast, her husband will attach her on some nights, so she slept and then went to work.
the. then I forget sub-bed, separate beds are not separated, at least I can sleep well, he can be free. man, quite substantial.
I have collected.


inconsistent concepts, we can agree a consistent reach, for example
1, carefully listening to one another, do not intervene, do not reprove;
2, after listening to first carefully think about, say their own ideas;
3, without satire, contempt, impatience, lampoon ... ... intonation towards the other half;
4, even if their entirely disagree with someone, do not instantly reject tough;
5, if two people have a conflict in principle, need to discuss how to do is the best;
6, not perfunctory, not to escape the problem instead of give and who want each other with a mild, objective and honest attitude towards you, so you must start to remedy each other.

course, you will say:
he is educating bad.
his upbringing is a problem, not change the.
he not a child, they should know how to do.
I force him too boring, I need love.
couples do not teach the students the educator, I feel exceedingly uncomfortable ... ...
good, then you're an forgive for the beyond and beyond away, you will develop with the other half of one of the most common, to fight, cry , divorce-based communication, you will own the other half as a vent to vent all the bad feelings out, and after a good, can still go on, and even good, even better than in the past few days.
gradually you think, this is a normal married life, is so hot, conflicts, any specific questions to both sides to compromise, both sides are satisfied with the results.
Gradually, you have and can not mend a broken life. Your child will grow up in such an environment, his / her subconscious will think that marriage is one such.
in the family we spend time and stamina, really defect in ... than the work, we will spend a lot of time thinking about how to get buyers, but the other half, we did not give him much alternative.
we will say so to men:
I was like, you accept all of me I was preferred.
I am angry it is because I see my best to give you the real side.
disallow you do not listen to me, whether I was right or wrong.
important to me and what your family, you must me as the most important.
you then challenge I fight, I told you break up.
... ...
woman in a relationship where, unconsciously, to become feeble, because the world has already set our gender languid side, so we rely on request, by often ask for, to allow yourself to become more powerful, so conflicts often men do a dizzy dizzy brain, had they not good at capturing the subtle mood changes, inconsistent and fickle woman, make the most intelligent men headaches.
your attitude will determine the success or failure of your relationship, this statement is no exaggeration.
oleander laughing at himself, met life, always grow up man. Her boyfriend is a two-term type: Family is very healthy, undisciplined character, love beasts and amusement, be a good mother serve colossal Guaier Zi.
she is not without attempting to alteration them, but often she opens her mouth, the other will be like a baby: Leave me unattended, good, let me stop playing for a while. She soon relented, if lusty, the person gets angry, ignored her, leaving the Cold War, finally coax her back to them.
she finally understood, indecisive attitude will only make the relationship aggravate, oleander feel that he is also a need care and attention of women, this infinite to pay, inclusive, really exhausted.

the construction of an ideal marriage: emotion management and time management
little see, you will find so many people around to describe yourself: Yeah I was anxious character , to speak more directly, I do not have a bad eye, you do not mind ah ... they use such words to cover up their own persona flaws, that is extreme, stubborn, impulsive, self-centered, and never for others. Words, the efficacy is bidirectional. For example, you read someone else's body, is simply to say really feel: how so fat? For you, just a matter of evaluation, for others, it may hurt.
This sample is too mild, and we should put it in another environment, if your boyfriend so you describe, but you have to win his praise for a week to cut down, peckish stars, then you because of his true ego and have something to actually say to excuse him?
must admit, it is hard to control emotions come up, and long-term oppression of their emotions, but also makes you more reduced, peevish, impatient. Growing up, many people who will scrutinize their parents at different sides of their ancestors, they gentle outsiders, tolerance and courtesy, but the home of their partners and children, it is hurrahed, ironically, mean, mm no euthanasia, because the family so that they feel secure, they need to be out of depression, vent in their closest person, behind closed gates anyway, how are family. How many people, that is, grew up in this context, grow up, they could not assist themselves with their parents into the same person.
intimacy have this problem, because we are close to each other, confidence, then do not say so, so willing to expose themselves to the real, which in itself is not wrong, but if you say, do, many are repellent, noxious, so do your friends, boyfriend, girlfriend, it means that high demands are put forward: those who make an all-powerful and inclusive.
This is a very too much to ask, you is tantamount to saying: because you love me, so what you have to put up, so you have to pay for me, so you can not fight me, or you just do not love me.
this logic, is not very absurd, very high-handed? However, this is the most logical, most people, love as a arms, and penalize each other for binding.
Why do we have to prepare as marriage, for marriage with the single biggest difference namely that you keep living with different human, you must first have a agreeable mode of communication, have a good comprehending of life will be quite smooth . If we mention that love itself namely a hormonal impulse,Supra Indy NS Shoes, to speak approximately a lot of restraint and treatment, then the marriage, most people will spend half a lifetime of marriage, you absolutely need to cautiously administer and preparations.
1, to understand themselves, at the critical point of sanity.
often you will fight this to reflect on their own: had nothing, one up on the results of temper out of control ... ... is not he excited, that nothing bad happens to say this, mess with me, would you mess with me nice think also in a fit of anger ... ... ... ... ... ...
apologize, whatever, such a situation continues, for a variety of details, a variety of small, or even a word, or will lead to quarrel. The more mar the more cumulative, and even make you forget the reason why he love.
quarrel itself is not wrong, in fact, these bit by bit, is you in understanding each other, a process to test each other's bottom line, everybody will get along with people, do not consciously do anything to fight for that rank to fight for control of this is understandable. Moreover, each intimate relationship, living together, two people are also constantly escaping, the outcome of compromise. However, such a compromise, it is best not to become a asylum grievances, and even resentment.
people who think themselves a wrong temper, it is required to set an panic timer in my heart, you presently broke out, to prompt you to lower the temperature, to restore silence. This reminder can be so:
I have is an adult, to control their emotions, I really got into a fight, is a lose-lose, I do not do this.
take a deep expiration, the subject, give yourself up to a glass of water will help you from an emotional situation out of control in the emancipate, to dodge subsequent accusations, harm, damage to your close.
Some people would say, I figure he'll pet me, I will be inclusive of the willful, unreasonable, in fact, such a person, when you listen to reason, he will wrong thing, because you let him habituated to not care about your emotional behavior, he used your morose, then you would be difficult for him really understand what you are is very serious, those things are your principles, can not be violated.

2, do not miss those bickering point
Well, we have successfully evaded the argument that, then we mentions the. Wait until marriage for three years, we have encountered the same problem and found the same problem but also for the argue, and that the other party's opinion did not change, but also because such a long time not to mention, get tougher. This is not a matter of crash happened?
avoid the attack of the critical point of their emotions, not to avoid the problem, in fact, dispute that it may cause problems, you create a good mode of communication is the key. Why to fight? Because you disagree, feel each other unreasonable. This small, often on benefit of you with the greatest difference between him, and good communication is to understand the difference between the two sides, on this basis, to strike a symbiotic.
for the problems that we could fight, best to have a more objective attitude, why do we say that men preoccupied more broad-brush, because they will ignore many small details, he did not think this is the problem, this attitude often will rage women, women's outburst, a man will feel vexatious. For the sake of quiet, he perfunctory disorder over the afterward still have the same problem. Ms. boyfriend
carnations we say that Phoenix be man, born in rural areas, theoretical excellence, successful vocation, his family life is good, do not need him too much aid. Carnation on his biggest headache is that he is a slovenly person, before he knew her a aggregate of only two pairs of socks, has been worn to cavities, worn socks at the end, will discard a new one. Because of his work he needs to wear neat, but after the suit collar, shiny light to often. Carnation is not over the altitude, but he's the habit, she several times crazy.
of several colleagues as an example of rural origin, others not elect up was clean and chaste. But can not convince him.
carnations with him again discussed this issue many times, from the quarrel, to joke, to sermonize at length, in short, she refused to give up, finally found a boyfriend, if he is not hard to do on health issues, living forever no peace.
party carnations finally happily heeded with her boyfriend, his clothes seize, cuffs, are pearly.
the face of difference, you can select to have two results, one persevere in the end, to quest a compromise, but the outcome of changing the status quo; second sight for the web, when such differences do not exist in the meantime, to put this disregard, as acquiescence. Both are also regarded as a good deal.
the most frightening thing is that for the same thing again and again, the same argument, and even fight the rhetoric did not change. Finally a woman calling, the men go. After reiterated N times, we all tired to necrosis, than break up trouble.
if we can not change the outcome, can not change the other, it can at least change their attitude, right? Your mood is very expensive, it will directly affect your endocrine, physical health,Kids' Supra Skytop Shoes, why should fall in the same place repeatedly torture yourself? If the first outbreak,Supra Skylow Shoes, quarrel, but excusable, then the same problem, the second,Supra Shoes, then the argument should not be a solution to, right?

3, two small-world rules
need to get along fall butme time, you can record your experiences, for instance, his least favorite is anything that you later how to deal with related do the same,Supra Trinity NS Shoes, you hate what he knows, how he handled another example, if you meet something both families, how do you discuss those problems and other sensitive issues ... ...
you write this Diary, you will detect that the two of you small globe of the elementary statutes and regulations have been born.
old saying, self, family, nation and the world, then no matter what profound fact, are from you personally, the people approximately you, start from here.
each other's bottom line will be emotional management of alarm clock, reminding us not to hurt each other, do not let the other side because of emotional reasons, forget the reason.
here would like to mention that the most basic: Do not hurt each other, this should be two people who love the most basic rules.
Unfortunately, we are in love, hurt each other with impunity, but also hurt ourselves, we often love this as is the criterion, that conflict, tears, Xiangda with verbal damage, extreme behavior of these intense, is the love too deep, strong love. Often the end, love has been worn frosty, never found the initial joy, heart. At this time of loss, only two people passively accept: we're old, do not move downtown, what love, ah, has a family, and marriage is the tomb of love, we have Jin Fenmu up.
In fact, you do not have that. Love has always been delight, we have been happily enjoy a healthy love, of course, is among the rules. Ms. Violet
between her husband's rules are detailed, including: no betrayal, no hands, do not lie, share the housework, regularly went out to play every week to have the time to talk ... ... and so on. This paper is just like her dealings with the other half set, at the marrying, bridesmaid best man who did witness two people according to the fingerprint.
Now her daughter is 5 years old, she grew up and preparation of purple, this paper gave her old as a gift. Every mother is like this, if the beginning, her daughter is taking a straight path the sun, it would be magnificent. Violet also want to tell her, agreed to do it accessible, keep is the most difficult. Violet in marriage, a man who faced the pursuit of his career, income, strong in all appearances of her husband, and he was her high school, first love. She considered the day, it refused him.
, left him, I think I had a bad.
4, the final backup
negative emotions such as anger you learn again and again to recall, again and again remind ourselves not to be angry and sad about the loss of rational decisions, then you will be very uneasy, anxious, negative emotions because you can not go anywhere. Here are a few
been various books and magazines over the suggested way for you to vent their negative emotions:
1) campaign. Such as aerobics, running, taekwondo, in motion, we must assume the unpleasant standing opposite you, waiting to be knocked to the ground beneath you look, so you shed sweat, red in a hot shower, hurled wet hair out of the gym, you can have a look at the world's people smile;
2) to do housework. Negative emotions can lead people to a masochistic impulse, you may wish to do a multi-day Cinderella did not rub the glass neat, or clean up the shambles of the closet again, your bad mood will follow those already with the useless debris be swept out of your home, clean and fresh home environment, and you will cheer up;
3) listening to melody, talking to himself. The room's door shut up, listen to the tempo of powerful music, you do not have a strong desire to quarrel with you, you can start, and wait for you against the wall itself are suppressed, then all gushed out, you will feel much better. Psychology enthusiasts can also consider these words logged for future analysis of their own to see what they have mental disorders;
4) excursion. Hiking to see the sea, you will find in nature in front of all the troubles no foot road;
5) a change in hairstyle, new styling manner you have to face their new possibilities, and do not care if it is bad, you can change beautiful short hair;
our best is a assured, healthy way to solve the problem, even if it is to vent their negative sentiments. Do not use low self-esteem, smoking, drinking, overeating, go to mattress with others, self-mutilation, a shopping spree and other doings to destroy themselves, they will let you vent after the repentant.
To know thatwe do these things, not just in order not to hurt others, first and foremost for themselves, we need to do a take control of their people, for that can firmly clutch the chapter of our health, happiness, harmony relationships.
invisible in the hearts of many people wronged, I always feel people how to do only concession was to quell their claims. Then these grievances, how much is true? Or just your extravagant claims are not met, it had to give up?
manage your emotions, do it for themselves, then who is your closest. Do not put your lover, family as a punching bag, do not rely on them for love, you can freely vent their negative emotions into the body.
how many people in the , hurting their favorite people?

manage your emotions it, a calm, sober people can face and solve problems. Your rude, self-willed, it may have hurt the other half without knowing it. Grievances until his heart break off, when everything is too late.