ier." He put his head down on the table. "I can't believe I embarrassed myself like that."
"Maybe if you practice you could get the top tier next time," Grandma said.
"I'm never going to another wedding,
uggs sparkle," Melvin said. "I wish I was dead. Maybe I should just kill myself."
Valerie came into the kitchen carrying a laundry basket. "What's up?"
"I pissed on the cake," Melvin said. "I was shit-faced." And then he passed out facedown in his sandwich.
"I can't take him in like this,
ugg boots pink," I said.
"He can sleep it off on the couch," my mother said, putting the iron down. "Everybody take a body part and we'll drag him in there."
ZIGGY AND BENNY were in the parking lot when I got home.
"We heard you want to make a deal," Ziggy said.
"Yep. Do you have Mooner?"
"Not exactly."
"Then it's no deal."
"We went all through your apartment and it wasn't there,
uggs sparkle," Ziggy said.
"That's because it's someplace else," I told him.
"Where?"
"I'm not telling until I see Mooner."
"We could hurt you real bad," Ziggy said. "We could make you talk."
"My future grandmother-in-law wouldn't like that."
"You know what I think?" Ziggy said. "I think you're fibbing about having it."
I shrugged anyilai：
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