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33124 2010 年 12 月 27 日 10:47 Reading (loading. ..) Comments (0) Category: Comedian
1. men and women the highest level of name calling!
M: Re Niubi google, can not find your G point!
women: re Niubi 360, also killed syphilis in your body could not finish!
3. 32 条 most mine jokes
1. Do not look at the old AV, looked down at the keyboard on the A and V next to what letters!
2. Three and SGX's girlfriend back on the open house to show off her second child: \? you that the tart secondary education came from the talented woman tell me than you graduate? \? \Even
: Huang sixty with Liu Bei, Tokugawa Ieyasu seventy conquer the world, eighty as prime minister late-bloomer, She Taijun hundred years in command, more than five-year-old Buddhist sutras, the Monkey King, Bai Suzhen down more than a thousand-year-old love! ~
4. Noon class, I valet in a combined fighting a dinosaur mm flower umbrella to the cafeteria.
hygiene conditions may be rain, her feet suddenly stopped, looked at me affectionately, \her heart was, but in order to later happiness, I must refuse.
So I put on a very innocent look silly to ask her: \cutting operation, the results were there only to find nurses turned out to be my high school classmate MM! After the embarrassment of greeting a while, she let me take your pants off, hesitated for a long time, she impatiently said: \chopsticks even more convenient! \
brothers without looking up: do not go, I'm trying not to see it? And other future graduates to find a good job, I go to soak them every day to night clubs!
7. flirtatious woman: you can make a child seat? I was pregnant.
Tsinghua M: Oh, you sit ~
######y woman: Thank you!
Tsinghua M: take the liberty to ask you a few months of pregnancy? This figure also look at you like ... ...
######y woman: Oh ... ah ... about 50 more minutes ... ...
8. Class has a mm is a diagram cents level, fortune-telling is very accurate, classes Shang Hao many people are looking for her count. In class today, when I half-jokingly half-seriously asked her, I liked how to do such and such a class, she buried in silence. This does not immediately remind me of a curious sound bite, the tunnel continued to ask, how can happen, no matter to her. She is still without a word. Then asked if able to grow old with her future life be like? She did not speak! Her silence made me feel so boring, so to divert attention began to lecture. Surprisingly, after class, mm suddenly dropped a piece of paper to me, I opened the look, see above picture for a game of chess pieces, but also with chess:
Red handsome five-level four, level 2
black guns 4 red car entered the second, black gun 2 level 9,
red level, after five soldiers, black car 1 into 9,
further five handsome red, black pawn 4 level 5,
Siping five handsome red, black side back into another car
contain state, draw.
I guess this one will have any profound meaning hidden, but think hard I never did fathom the mystery ... ...
9. I know a shoe repair, and he often in the Lower East Side haunt, so many years later, he had the nickname \Later, the East - Shoes - smoking - drug the ... ... ~>. Haha, approached the success! So go along and said: \
to further open to talking, and I continue to ask: \. with gf back bedroom, no one see the house, so he ~*^_^*
just get away, someone knocked on the door, I feel glad this person did not come earlier, or just break down our good mood.
open the door next to the WX that turned out to be male,
red wing heritage boot, \who have put so loud? \Reached newsstands, the magazine found that revision of the. Aunt
kiosks opportunity to sell me busy, \glad to took a \
5,6 meters walk away from the trash and suddenly I want to hammer directly into the impulse to go. Who would have thought associate head too
times, once the flower pot next to a broken household! The results were the old man training for 10 minutes, costing him 10 dollars to pay off.
just leave, heard again the old man behind the words: \, and his wife had no choice but to send him to a mental hospital. Rule for half a year, has improved, my brother changed again after discharge of the I Ching, the results after six months, nerves, and his wife ... ... After the Ku Cheng tears were pointing by a few friends, and said there was a large temple monks, if Ask him to practice, will surely cure him. His wife to spend lots of money really to bite the monk who brought in - the result of a door to see my buddy monk, said nothing, give up Ah knees and bowed repeatedly called the master, looking for the sixty years that can be considered to find Master it! Hematemesis his wife at the time of the ... ...
22. University of breath, we do not attach importance to the political class, so many people do not usually listen to. I have a buddy is, but exam day he came down early to the classroom, find a good seat to sit down next to a small group of Latin American relations after and said: \The man did not care for him.
a moment the bell rang, the man stood up, begin to roll ... ...
23. Usually I have to buy airplane window seat, Today on the plane, one mm was shocked to see sitting in my position.
So I am a gentleman came forward and asked: \Khan I, ah, \
bedroom Brothers: You know, the game is!
I: Why?
bedroom Brothers: Do you know that Shanghai women and men have in common the Taliban it?
me:? ? ?
bedroom brothers: that is, not sparing the U.S. men
25. to each other with a relatively mm sitting in the teahouse. The two sides have understood the work, education, family, hobbies, the conversation in trouble, and began pulling some social issues.
me: How do you think the housing market?
mm (stunned, and then bow to silent child): ... or not too often, or better ... ...
26. Several similar to Jiaotong University, Fudan University, MM play. Suddenly, they saw a sleeping cat, cute, so intention to shoot down.
results just took out the camera to be restrained by gg next to a National Chiao Tung University.
MM: how, also in violation of school rules cat photography ah?
gg: No, no. You do not know the cat's eye color is different: one blue, one yellow, do not believe I woke up to you to see!
27 .. GG: You know what? 80% of the girls in the shower when the SY, the other 20% will sing in the shower, guess what they are singing?
mm: ah ... ... do not know.
GG (nasty laugh): It seems that - you are that 80% of the ~
28. a special relationship with my MM Forum iron a bad mood, so pull me out with her eat.
eat half, she ordered a bottle of beer, and then asked me: \will drink ah. \
I thought a moment, then shouted back: \peep from the side, looks very pure indeed a cute little beauty. No deposit then calls while it is reported that when secretly record her phone number. At home bored, so send text messages to mm: Hello my sister, make friends Zeyang?
- are you?
- save today calls row behind you, that guy *^_^*
- oh, sorry, XX too long last night,
red wing sale, this morning,
red wing shoes sale, get up, help me keep my girlfriend the calls!
--&*%*&&* ... ... * ※ ...%) # ◎ #
30. Today, I happily took my MBA certificate to a company interview. When the manager to propose a salary level of arrogance and asked me if I feel very flattered, I live in a pull out his window onto his collar, and then mercilessly pointing my car downstairs, said: \! you give me my salary to support any kind of car What!! \During the evening, we had a dish called the Chongqing spicy chicken, we turned on the inside chopsticks ah turn, searched and searched and found that in addition to the mountains and plains of the red pepper, chicken little! At this time, with doctrine: \br>
32. but also new reports of the season, came back the next night classes, the boss asked me how the quality of this girl?
I (complained to face): We report the Department of girls line up - guess a common English!
boss (like the next): ah ... ...
I guess (sigh): long time no C ... ...
5. fruit can not mess can not arbitrarily send Oh, \have a look \¬
¬ behalf of banana → I want you! → ¬
¬ orange represents my love you! → ¬
¬ oranges on behalf of my pain you! → ¬
¬ peaches after you on my behalf! ¬
¬ behalf of plum → I hate you! ¬
¬ behalf of Persimmon → I beg you! ¬
¬ behalf of litchi → I'm afraid you! → ¬
¬ longan you on behalf of my gas! ¬
¬ watermelon → I step on your behalf!
coconut → I'm sick of you on behalf of! → ¬
¬ pears you represent me mad! → ¬
¬ grapes on my behalf to make you! → ¬
¬ lemon on behalf of my anger on you! → ¬
¬ durian smell you on my behalf! Pomegranate → ¬
¬ behalf of my shock you! ¬
¬ ganzi → I'm afraid your behalf! ¬
¬ tin pineapple → You on my behalf!
melon → represent me kiss you! Carambola → ¬
¬ marry you on my behalf,
red wing shoes online! → ¬
¬ Qingzao dumped you on my behalf! ¬
¬ I kiss you on behalf of the mango → ¬
6. Short story, but a very brilliant
,
a big snake and a small snake is a friend.
this day they found a huge roadside turtle.
snake brothers think so big stature, but a good meal ah.
python wrote: I'll deal with him.
so python display their skills, the big turtle with a body wrapped tightly.
and large turtle shell has long been indented in the body, despite how the python wrapped, they can not harm the big turtle.
discouraged python, breathless climb up the side.
big turtle carefully exposed head, exposing his head in that moment, a small lightning snakes bite at the turtle head
a mouthful, and quickly retracted a large turtle shell. A few minutes later, however, because the poisoning death of a large turtle.
python da f: wow! I spent so much effort has failed to hurt the turtle, but you easily done, ah.
small snake said: because I understand his point.
But still there is a problem the next big reduction in the turtle shell remains after death, snakes are moving
swallowing of objects, but they can not take off the turtle's shell, had to leave unhappy the ... ...
This story tells us: Even if you're good at stalker, it may not be able to bubble to the girl, to understand that the little girl to be
.
This story also tells us: If you can not take off the girl's clothes, would not have to spend energy to soak her.
Second,
a male hermit crab found a lot of empty shells, he gave the shell to clean up, make his own house.
hermit crab with a public house quickly found a female hermit crabs, they live happily in the big house.
they go out every day, happy mother of hermit crabs to free travel, food, and the public house hermit crabs carrying a heavy hard
to hermit crabs with the mother behind.
female hermit crab section of the road trip will stop and other public crabs.
This was not long lived, one day, accompanied by one female hermit crab with lobster walk freely, and never
did not come back, and heavy public and hermit crabs can not leave his house, can only stand hermit crabs swimming away from looking at the mother,
red wing shoes outlet, You
away, swimming away, gradually disappeared, but not ... ...
This story tells us: If you have a house, you will reduce the difficulty with a girl.
This story also tells us: If your house becomes your burden, then the rest of your life will become unbearable pain
.
So in deciding whether to buy a house when the first stage weigh the gain and loss.
III,
the beauty of a naive saw a snake in the water's edge with beautiful patterns, ultra-good frog skin, can not help but give birth to
a love heart.
snake on frogs, said: We can exchange it?
frog wrote: OK good. So the two of them living together.
One day, they sleep, snake involuntarily in his sleep with a body wrapped up the frog, the frog
feel like choking to struggling with two strong and powerful hind legs heavy to tread in the snake's belly, playing
out, and then quickly fled, never to return.
sad snake keep good body injuries, but injuries can not keep a good heart, she had a handsome frog beautiful
sense of fear that will be hurt, since she was living the single life.
this day, an ugly toad found a snake, that she is very beautiful, can not help but give birth to the love of the heart.
toad on the snake, said: We can exchange it?
snake looked at the ugly toad, that was sincere in his eyes, her lonely heart sinking, shook, and she thought it
only toad so ugly, she should cherish such a beautiful snake's So she said: Okay. They both live in
together.
One day, they sleep, snake involuntarily in his sleep with a body wrapped up the toad, frog skin disease
feeling to be stifled to struggling, his back spitting out venom , shoot at the snake eyes, snake
launched by the pain body, toad took the opportunity to run away, never to return.
This story tells us: Do not think that guy will only hurt the girl, ugly girl, like to hurt! !
This story also tells us: touching is appropriate, but if your requirements are too frequent and too much power to the men
pressure, then the men will be scared of you.
four,
a beautiful swan one day fall on the floor, saw a robust duck, she was immediately duck
handsome son only impressed, she surprised the Ducks Unlike her similar appearance, different from her kind temperament, there is so
type, then the alternative.
Thus, swans to ducks show love. Flattered immediately accepted the love of ducks.
Since then, the swans and ducks live on the land, living in the mud side.
noble white swan feathers that every day is a dirty dirty
Swan not long before that swelling of the feet to walk the beautiful Swan
stroke lost in the clouds, blue sky wash.
Swan, could not, she always said: duck, duck, you learn to fly, ah, then we can all fly together in
a high altitude.
ducks swans hard to learn to fly, but he is a duck.
want to fly, want to fly and the swans fly high as it is too hard, he really have the courage and ability to own and learn to fly, he gave up in
.
duck said: Swan, you caught me, took me to fly.
swan caught the duck, the exhibition wings, very, very difficult to fly the blue sky, landing in the sky for a moment the.
laughed duck, the duck that the sky is so beautiful scenery, the duck is really good to fall in love with a swan.
After that day, the ducks are called upon daily to take him swans fly overhead, and requires more time flying
long, if the swan does not meet the requirements he gets angry.
tired because of love ducks swans, though physically and mentally fatigued, but still agreed to the requirements of ducks.
this day, letting ducks swans took him to take to the skies, reluctant to seize the duck flew up into the Swan, flying very high, very
high, high, and then bowed his head kissing a duck swan to feel surprised when the ducks, swans ducks release
to seize the hand of ... ...
This story tells us: everyone should know how to contentment, beauty willing to let you on the good, do not require too much
high, not every day like last 』『!
This story also tells us: the story of the princess fell in love with poor boy is not no, but the outcome may not be so perfect.
any case, the class is always there, good match is not necessarily a bad idea.
climb a rich girl will do to improve the quality of your life, but it does not mean you can be free from struggle.
rich girl will let you fly so high, but it will let you die miserable.
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