ck Shen Ke Log ( 124-129 )

7 / 30 (2007/07/30)

I have a very long time did not dream of you.
only, each nightmare you once, awake, it can not quell want to hurt themselves.


I nectar a lot of wine.
lot of people.
friends, friends of friends, and friends of friends of friends.
me a splitting headache. Was sitting in the crowd chuckle.
before going home and only remember that strange man in the corridor near the shadow of kiss.


then that night, I dreamed of you.

3 in the morning while you wake up.
face.
did not use makeup Ru solution.
rough towel to scrape the rind, itching.
paste into the makeup has been exaggerated dark surrounds.

relying on foot of the bed I sat on the ground.
arm wound infection has been fast for a week. Hidden in the sleeves a slight shock pain.
I think of you.
clenched dagger. One, two ... ...
blood from the leg slowly flooded out.
that dark red is still glaring.
in my dizziness began to cry.

You discern, I have no access to wear summer clothes.
You see, I am getting scale up ugly nasty.
I'm afraid I hate everyone.
I hate them fearful of them.

I obviously do not cold.
those who are in the form of a more cold see by me.
why there locked in cages in the audience was being made amusement of nauseate.
always the case.
always the case.
why do not you take me.
take me out of here.
I like you.

except you no one will want me.
you are right, without you, how do I do.
I can only obediently in place waiting for you.
can not go anywhere.

I listen to you, good job, good life.
you said to always laugh, to pay many, many friends like you.
I desperately to adapt to entire the human and things approximately, I attempt apt disburse numerous, numerous friends, they smile, about to amuse.
you said I also thin, every time I hold to sleep, pelvic pain will stab you.
I quit all the things you do not like.
I eat of sorts drugs.
I am a good portly ah.
you would like it to me.

Yesterday I took some photos sent to your e-mail.
those wounds, those blood.
I tell you I want you.
I tell you it began to hurt, but I accidentally let it began to hurt.
I imagine you would like to help me dress and in the elapse, due to distressed and petulant and broke things, but said nothing but hold me tight. Your warm tears dripping on my nape.
I assume you would acquaint me over and over and over as you will not leave, how can you leave.


can you still go.
you said I was sick, you have no way.
you, I do not love you.

I kid you not.
not never lie to you.
So I seriously think so many so many.
I want you to linger in different words, if necessary love.
But why I can only have been crying.
not stop.

I have to always be detailed to guard against these endless emotions.
heightened tensions.
panic to listen to them crackling. Like in the division.


You see I was talking ridiculousness. I was drunk yesterday
why not wake up now.

Let me think about you.
Let me shed tears.
before waking up.
8 / 14 (2007/08/14)


I grew up it, mother.


suddenly so then like you.

today, a area to go single, alone, should not be a task to complete a task.
quietly a little perversion.


waiting.
yesterday, still uncomfortable.
today is so numb.
even if we still have to second, third.

pain.
did not ambition to cry a mini.
There is nothing to fear.
There's nought I fear.
is not it? Mother.



something erroneous, who can not run punishment.

long, long time ago, you had to pretend anger of childhood fun of me saying that. 8 / 22, end (2007/08/22)

lying in bed, nap at times.
eyes, awake looking at the ceiling, then fell resting dizzy and fatigued.
and then wake up again, and then fell asleep.
twenty-four hours long like twenty-four century.


phone ring.
big K.
coincidence it this time.
discovered me looking fknow next to nothing ofmeone to speak.
even scolded 也好.
settle down in silence these days Tolerance, suddenly a little destroy.

not scolded.
would prefer be scolded.
with large K becomes suddenly gentle up.
so carefully.

he said, hurt it.
I fear going to start to find their own voice smothered.


cowardly evil do.
alone fell, got up, calmly continued to hike.
but if somebody falls next time, aid you up gently and take compassion for you to dust. Instead, it will be wronged to cry.


it is not left alone it would be better.
is not instantly hang up the big K in the phone, help me up the people pushing it.

next time.
after, will be resolutely open.
this, and then condone this malign period.
I really need.
last. I curse by all
.



I felt sweat mantled in svelte carpets inside.
clenched the phone.
already could not tell palms stick to the hot temperature of the impudence alternatively on the metal casing on the phone.
only know thatmoment, chaos, the other end of the big K's voice, seems to me the entire world.


at fewest, still did not lose ah.
no longer needless and useless put askew look.
often changing heading. and large K
just chatting softly. That joke.
just want a little bit faster over time.

so, it is not too many opposition the rules right.



third day.
have fever. Pain suspension.
nausea, do not eat into things.
large K the call has again said that the nutrition of.

to buy the water and injecting glucose drip to go home.
left hand or shaking badly.
pin bar double before identify blood vessels.



Internet.
watching two hours ahead the final paragraph of the conversation daze.

(2007-08-14 09:39:32) ck
also met me
(2007-08-14 09:39:49) ck
you want to see me

(2007-08-14 09:42:41)
do not understand, do not ask me, I now I do not want to reply what


thigh was peppery the next.
bow.
inexplicable tears.
heart is hurt.

an o'clock there is no prescience.




Valentine's Day.

8:00
is still a lot of friends.
eat, then go to bars.
He kept the wine to help me stop.
with them today, he did not slapstick,GHD MK4 Pink Straighteners, fair sitting next to me, has been silently seeing me.
he tolerate unreasonable things laborious for me, go distant away to buy green tea. Just because I said that the store's green tea ice temperature was just right. But did not buy a drink.

dark deck room. He gingerly took my hand. electric shock-like contraction
I open.
carnival crowd staring at the boxes.
avoid his harmed eye.



12:00

I slowly move amenable.
through the crowded streets of a strange piece of a group and a group of loud and cheerful couples.
breast hair slightly stifled.
sense of trance, going to float favor.

end of the line is the voice of his pique and hurt.

I hate you so you Shen Ke.
I like it so not value the money then you can not stand it.

from back to catch up with motorcycle parked in front.
I gazed watching has been hung up the phone, look at people on the motorcycle.
seems familiar.
a moment to remember.
really namely his friend.

male speak, with a sort of self-righteous frustration.
they argue? See how you always fight. Up, I take you home.

hesitated a few seconds.
handing bags,GHD Straighteners, got on.

wearing headphones the way he talk with who.
roughly guess who.
see the automobile suddenly rotated back.
I sat back in silence.

nothing.
suddenly without anybody exertion to make things difficult.

off.
he really stood waiting.
deadpan.
stiff from the hands of a friend took my sack.
I silently emulated.
watched him go get car.


road.
he gently open suddenly, I'm sorry.

I turned to look out the window.
silence.



am 1:20

received little fairy on the phone.

my little fairy.
agreeable voice still hoarse.
sweet in the middle of the night cry me babe.


began to cry.
by the sobs into crying.
to cry in the near future breathe.

end of the line appears to be growing panic misgiving sound far out of reach.
throat tight.
surprisingly tight.
tolerate began cramping, and severe cramps in waves.

tears mist, the whole is explicit and that kind of numb despair.
feel, little by little all the perception will be together with my little fairy, but also with the lost.



think frankly the first time the word alone.
people bloody, apathetic.

alone something like this interpretation of the ah.


all obviously still there.
fairy obviously still there.

only Since that day, I was never close, as usual way, questing the cover name of woe warm
8 / 31 (2007/08/31)

Luo God they come home the morn playing cards.
I will not.
still be precluded.

Liu aunt out. At midday we started
hungry.
so I moved to cook.

not long into the pantry.

hard to make things right for Wu Wan noodle chicken blood.
Duanliao Yi bowl to eat alone in the bedroom.
out behind half an hour and base the living apartment that Siwan bowl is not moving.

stare.

Luo Ye calm prologue the way, what it is.
frozen chicken blood noodle.
eat it.
can.
frozen chicken blood, but it called noodle.
today it is not an mediocre noodle frozen chicken blood.
what it is.
vegetables and onions have likewise put eggs noodle fowl blood.
Well ... it before it is.
noodle chicken blood before it is frozen. No onions and vegetables and eggs.
this ... ah ... a small sink, will do anything another to eat?
understanding. Well, you and so on.
agreeable nice ... ... difficulty you.


So I put the heating intact Siwan noodle persistence.
and then bring an end to ... the past.





Later, we take the time, appear to feel very good.
Wang Yuan Zhen (2007/09/14)

not last a long time on the antique MSN list.
32 messages.
of which 27 are for you.


like you said before.
I am probably missing a really acting.
tend to forget so many momentous things.



warp it.
just have no kind of yesterday received a candy-like touch of joy.

ancestral ... ...
we did not take long talked almost.
that, I still habitually retaliation and injury.
you still habitually repeated tolerate compromise.

your friends will soon start to dislike me.
even, possibly including my friend.
our friends.

Long Zeyu ah, Li Yu ah, the old E.
they always ask me, you do ample. As good as the poor mama do.


enough.
enough is long overdue.

but I knew the habits.
forget behind from. Forget to stop.
forget and you know.


I know, always know your sensibilities.
deep, as did the burning slap in the face imprinted aboard my face.
never deliberately ignored that second day of dread in your eyes the pain and regret. I remember when I select
angry about mad.

so gentle you.
I entirely trust you.
give me so many warm you.

fragmented.
day break as the set of crystal glasses.



hurt themselves if it method hurt you.
namely I will hurt his side meantime laughing.

stupid?

not.
only you and I know.
I succeeded.


villain.

how can you compel me to leave those.
those, so I can see her spiritual nourishment it.

you should know best, those who make you fear and hate, but all I have to patronize continued breathing down the power ah.

You see, I mention these, all with a dislike like tone.
This is also your habits.


I do not need to beg.
just because you hurt me earlier.
matter what your starting point.

I just want to say, these are stopped.
by my end.


I obviously have not go back.
I apparently have in this process in itself is lost.
this be the punishment I obtain ah.
we are even, OK?


from today, me from your world,GHD Black Styler Straighteners, dragged out of it.

antecedent you agreed, without my approval, you can not depart me, I can not attention.
remember, right?
you have laughed like a fool but a gentle face, made a variety of vow.



So now, I grant you to leave.
allows you to happiness.
9 / 21 (2007/09/21)

record one.

really busy bruised and battered. Even the new look did not have time to shoot.
This is the way to elect up the pro sat ridiculously small float a shot inside the word hello hello back.
wail to be a few more pictures to the wedding photos of friends a poor explanation.

Alternatively, you really do not want to take the welcome was exceedingly tedious process.

only poor to partake in a wedding.
to bridesmaid status.
groom is a courtyard with 6 previously brought up childhood, Huo purple brother.
bride first met.
looks normal.
but her smile and sweet. People are civilized.

lot of old people rule.
Western-style weddings must preparing for the wedding, from the opening to the end seriously.
nor fish nor poultry.

godmother gave me goose elected chips of yellow bridesmaid dress that really can not wear.
pretend to forget to send, wearing a short uniforms. At least not stumbling stumbling hand.
old people no less to himself, Whatever. No one serious.
joke.
you become decency, hand, wedding foul air.
bride and groom face stiff stiff consist in ..., a thoughtless afraid of your wrong etiquette rules.
than Leia. More boring ah.
Nanbu Cheng wedding night you must stand next to the manipulation of what location they should.

just write ideas.
day has been largely silent.
not satisfactory exterior in adding to clothes, the other should still be thought basically decent courtesy.
starting from 5 o'clock to Xiangxiang the bride, the groom back to the cities, to take the umbrella, to companion the bride upstairs, Libi and best man after the new bed to help with a bougie.
not Mr. Liu, to make it via.


record two.


wedding experience Yaya.
basic school students.
said that they had exactly the same level for three years.
kindergarten, premier grade, second grade.
until the third year I transferred out.

also be brought up attach.
time was bullied badly.
Yaya before a child is muscular.
always a few girls around me with a classmate. Tore my job of this, pull my hair and the like.
I do not know to complain,GHD Precious Gift Set, just start crying, then Lianku also saved. Suffer in calm.
so kids chance more incited,GHD New Wave Limited Edition, having fun, bullying was worse. In the middle of the team of children
Yaya is a criterion small monster head.

also seen for many years.
almost unrecognizable.
handsome facial functions, face petite petite, more moist girl.
manners matron to not work.
prettily Gouzhuo my arm and I speak a kid how to kick my huge memories.

comb a hedgehog head I wear men's jacket to her next stop, Wai Zhaozui giggle.
how to be more tomboy tomboy.


record three.

home.
lack of sleep, paired with approximately two days, several times not far along car.
stars.

wore a look of component is a shower.
COMB call me so I'll get MAYA sound goes, the way to eat a meal.
rush to arrest the last orange of the conception of time to eventually encounter COMB.
thought it was an old man.
did not muse wears black-rimmed glasses are almost like a type of young artists.
also carry a laptop with a child. Standard vocational pose.

repast as 2 and a half hours to eat dinner, talk music, talk go, and talk his girlfriend.
took several COMB sound card and arranger for the recording software.
I actually speak their own the family.
more rude.
just really exhausted.
otherwise want to be around and then go play movie games.

home forgot to say important words.
Thank you.
make up here.

people so busy, accidentally taking the time to send his card over,GHD Hair Straightener, also invited him to dinner.
a bit sorry.


record four.

physiology of purple in the Hall to his brother's wedding day.
Duoji Li ah.
large - red.
gang olds who kas long asthe more elated ah.
began Tengteng Tengteng Tengteng stomach pain.

start recording and the bare melody.
yet recorded his part well.
my side has shuffled on for a good time.
really sorry afresh and anew.

tongue petrochemicals.
stomach cramps.
they want to record the more inaccessible state. Although the theme of lustful ######
lyrics, but however the outcome, I wish sincerely and cautiously recorded.

time.
I need time.
then a little bit of time.

excuse me, bare wife.


record five.

woke up this morning, that would be the culmination of a stomach pain physiological state.
really can not shake.
can not go to the company.
salary clasped clasped buckle stop.
This month's narcotic commission and dividends early flight.

save my appalling plan.

really hate their stubborn donkey did it like backbone.
but do not rue it.
sometimes feel very keen and hard struggle.

this month to refund.
otherwise I will sell self-fantasy classic Red. (He said called the brothel.)
Recent preference classic activity into the endless tearful in front of Cinderella.