Arsene Wenger gives the evil eye to Liverpool's Lu

I know just how Jamie Carragher feels.After watching 12 minutes of a supposed eight minutes of extra time in Sunday's Arsenal-Liverpool exercise in Gooners masochism, I required five people to carry me out of my local pub on a stretcher.At least Liverpool's aging warrior-captain was knocked cold by his clash of heads with young teammate John Flanagan -- so much so that he later told reporters that he "can't remember anything" -- while I was all too conscious even after sucking down twin tanks of oxygen and six pints.If Manchester United embody fighting spirit and dragging back points from the abyss, this Arsenal team is the poster child for the art of implosion. Every week, the Gunners invent entirely ingenious ways to collapse.Arsenal Jerseys Blow a 2-0 lead at home to a Spurs team that last won an away EPL match against a topflight side when Prince William still had hair? Check. Hurling away a 4-0 halftime lead against Mighty Newcastle? Yup, done it.Crash out of the Champions League, lose to Birmingham in the Carling Cup final, get bounced from the FA Cup in a space of a month? Yes, to the third power.
Yet Sunday's choke job may be Arsenal's finest because the Gunners managed the trick of going from the sky above to the mud below in only four minutes. After being awarded a nimbus cloud-soft penalty in the 98th minute -- which Robin van Persie coolly converted to make it 1-0 and lights-out to Liverpool -- my friend Andrew disgustedly handed me a $20 bill to pay off his bet as the ball nestled in the net. All Arsenal had to do at that point was to see out the last few ticks of the clock for a tough, last-minute victory against an undermanned Liverpool side. OK, so those last few ticks became four excruciating minutes on referee Andre Marriner's sundial, but does anyone apart from Arsene Wenger actually believe this gives the Gunners an excuse?First, they commit a silly foul on the razor's edge of the penalty area to give Liverpool the free kick, which Luis Suarez slammed directly into the Arsenal wall. Then, as the Emirates faithful collectively exhaled, thinking that their heroes had Red Deviled an opponent into stunned submission, up popped their clownish defender Emmanuel Eboue to cause them to gasp in horror. As the Suarez shot caromed off the mass of Arsenal defenders in the box, the ball running harmlessly away from goal, Eboue pushed Lucas Leiva, who knew enough to gratefully fall over himself.
When Marriner pointed to the spot, I remembered a report in the British tabloids I had read while in London last week. Soccer Jerseys It said that Spurs was planning "a shock swoop" for Eboue next season. So the thought occurred: Was this the Ivorian defender's way of ingratiating himself to Harry Redknapp while also exacting revenge on the Arsenal fans who had jeered him mercilessly two years ago for his hapless play? Maybe I was just being a paranoid Gooner -- or is that redundant? -- but as Piers Morgan tweeted to golfer Ian Poulter on Sunday: "it's [supporting Arsenal] actually damaging my health now."Certainly, it has affected Wenger's eyesight. The hopelessly myopic Frenchman,NBA Dallas Mavericks Jerseys, whose red-and-white-tinted contact lenses are programmed to block out any and all Arsenal fouls, only saw Leiva flopping to the ground, not Eboue shoving him there.Gesticulating angrily after Marriner's penalty call, Wenger turned to Liverpool manager Kenny Dalglish and made it known that he thought Leiva had dived. King Kenny's eloquent response consisted of two words that have been directed this season toward Wenger by other EPL managers, including Fulham's Mark Hughes, Stoke City's Tony Pulis and Birmingham's Alex McLeish. Only Dalglish uttered them loudly enough to be picked up by the touch-line TV Rooneyphone -- "Piss off."