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133648 2010 年 09 月 15 日 23:22 Reading (loading. ..) Comments (0) Category: Personal Diary
Where should I write
starting from the receipt of the girl's phone or from her into the that smoke-filled world, filled with loneliness and solitude, secretly sadness people feel stifled. an Evening dressed in a black seat red shawl seems to fall on the table, the girl on the expense of the glass front, seems to have been drinking a lot, but seems to have been not drink, very quiet, but it hurts. She is the pupil.
; the bar had to close up only her pawing at the table, I slowly walked over, it seems to frighten her. she Yi Chan, raised his body to looked at me. smoothly straightened shawl, a long time before she spoke: waiting for you, I think you are Wei Ran. attractive, she had a sort of clever, do not know how to describe it to go, but felt she was like hell to escape the angel. There is a bit dark but with a seductive taste. we are like this in silence, listening to previously told me her story, but that is in the network, on the phone with her the first time face to face. I thought to myself, I have the ability to help the angels back to heaven? can I help her in the heart ideas.
in my thinking, she broke the silence, asked: I am the United States do?
I did not think she would ask me such a son, her voice Qiruoyousi,
~ ~ ~ Digestive humor!, seems to be heard but like nothing. I politely told her: You are beautiful.
She laughed, giggles echoed in the bar, the window of the street lamps shone on her face. is that this room is the only amount of light. She did not turn on the lights, but the window was feasting, she was more lonely. laughter after she was like muttering: I am beautiful, but also a liar, a woman like me , this is not ugly Bale. said very nice. and then her head lift of a glass of wine to light. I think it was too late to stop. I said: slowly drink, you find me not to talk with you? If How can we talk you only drink it?
She looked at me, then look out the window, her eyes revealing it to death sad. I am afraid, I did not think this girl has such a son artistically, but she told me she did not like their own way. poor girl, twenty-year-old Chinese, the appearance of what has become such a ?
her back leisurely, gently gave a sigh, slowly talk in her story: You look out the window of the lamp, Only they do not sleep at night with me through the night, you watch the miles to dilute the rain outside the window, people upset. If the weather fine, the night where I can see the moon, the moonlight shines on my body, very soft very safe.
I nodded Enliaoyisheng, as the answer, but also told her that I'm listening. and she is also a bit of time took a deep breath, and then go to the bar took a bottle of wine, poured into the glass, the first lift of is a big mouth. Her eyes his mouth moist. I tried to persuade her not to drink in this way, and she stopped at the bottle arms, without alcohol to intoxicate yourself. seemed surprised. I smiled and said: Of course, this is the day you called to tell me, I have like this to persuade you, do not drink, good for his health. looked up. makes me think of the word, head up, tears streaming backwards.
nothing. Wei Ran,
new balance shoes, ten years, can remember who I said nothing, only you. , you are not there good and sisters? I think that in bad pupil and her sisters, and not just on the phone once brought her. At least the good sisters can share her grief. But, on second thought, if so, how she is so obvious lonely.
Yes ah, I say let her pain, she is busy turning his head out the window, watching the rain, a moment they refuse to return . I want to look out the window along the line of sight of her in addition to what the rain. There pedestrians hurry to go, sometimes in pairs under the umbrella when people from right, someone help people to help. In our eyes appear to be normal. And Hitomi says, , happiness is not the same as the time each is different standards of personal happiness. For example, I have an audience with the reader is happy, and I can play Jianpanshangqiao text is happiness. and all this if for you,
new balance running shoes, so you probably do not identity, are not you? position on the face attached to the window. I'm waiting for her answer is yes, but also a good silence, she seems like the phone, it looks like talkative, more like have so much to get to the core. I seem to see her falling tears, falling on the window of the mark, but I do not know the rain outside the window or the window of her. I would like to gently call her soon, she suffered a shock like a child, people do not have the heart to bother her, perhaps she was still considered one word I said.
Listen, you give me written word, OK? start my audience you do, do not interrupt me, Can. The answer she
But why lie to me? My heart is confused about promised not to interrupt her, I had to listen, waiting, but she said very difficult, every word, every word seems to have stiffened.
, what happened the night can also be due to the presence of rationalization. not guilty. The night also makes it easy for people to get drunk. I really hope that one day this world will never have a day, I can enjoy the night of the pupil to do, I can drink, can you chat, you can smoke can also wear ######y sultry. I like a girl nothing to take account of the night, the same can live free, fearless. can easily grief can also be casual fall. no matter what is done will be inclusive all night.
'm back. because I am so sad and disappointed parents. home, more children, the day tired, for parents, as long as we can make stronger than anything else to eat, for they do not believe in the spirit of this thing, we seldom exchange. As for sisters, not to mention what it would be more communication, and their thoughts than I few weight. I hate them like this, simply do not want to speak with them, but they also do not want and what they say, mind. We just In a group of children on the table to eat. eat the subsequent play, and who and no one on. So we are alone. but it all seems like a doomed customary, though not like no way to change.
. can not afford.
pupil was tightly affixed to his face at the window, just rolled his body get glasses on the table. This time I did not stop, she needs the warmth, and wine is the warmth of her most believe. This is an online chat with the two of us when she told me, then I do not really understand until you see her now, I understand. She always looked up to drink a big mouth, and then pour a glass of wine on the table. Like what in retrospect, looking out at the rain. She murmured: not to stop ah. Then back, eyes deep depression in the people that sorry for her.
It was raining. then when I had open heart like the rain began to rain fed. lonely. and I do not play with other children, are looked down on me. do not know why, from small to large, boys do not like me. I often ask myself, pupil so long you ugly? so unattractive? Why boys and girls, you can not find friends? no answer, and students was a quarrel in a sentence,
new balance 574, he will not let me never ever want to have friends. he said, is to see you are not pleasing to the eye, makes his long frown upon, deserve to be hit.'m sorry, ah, ah wronged the worse, do not bully who bullied you? What does she complain?
Then shaking the empty glass, faint smile. Pour the wine and then goes on to talk to.
only looked at the crowd in the distance, thinking he might see me in person cracks. But every time he came to all my happiest day, no matter how, from near he. br> The crowd did not see him. but I visited him in his home, as long as the holiday, I said to look for Xiao Chan to play,
⒈ haggard - Qzone log, regardless of why, since I see him I am happy. I begged my mother to let me transfer it, I Chan and Shaw to read a high school. mother does not agree, my mother said you are here on very good, and our family so much money for not so good on you and that is where the school is too far away from home, dead people to take care of you, you go What to do? I can not tell Mama, I want him with us. say mother did not afford me to read such a good school. I had to silence, then I hope I can, and he was admitted to the same high school in the same sub- a class would be good. Her parents can be more life to love me. But she was wrong, and I have no way of guilt from Royal heart, I like carrying a yoke, I choose to give up school. and this choice is to do in the moment of decision. was also aware that to give up school to give up the chance with him, but I pray to God, forgive me. I am willing to be with him and I cherish the opportunity to be with him, but I can not face I killed my sister. tight, her fear of death, I wanted to comfort her, I told her not your fault, and she cried out: how not my fault if I did not born, how could there so much. I was born is wrong. But also wrong, the parents had dropped out of my heart, now I do not have a decent job. You know, when many people pull unfortunately, they are secretly, I go to college is a safe, but how so disappointing to drop out halfway in it? No one understood, I have multiple psychological burden. I do not know if I go to school is a right choice, I thinks, I decorated the school can earn money to repay the parents can comfort their wounded hearts, thoughts can make them less big sister. I have a sister but I do not want me there because my parents with this burden for a lost her. Drop-out was in my eyes is the only way, to keep my sister, save my home. This more than anything else. I bent the drop out, and then find a job. But the drift to the present, did not earn any money by a lot of injuries. Parents of the children looked the same age admitted to a university, but to me even more disappointed.
Let not the reason he likes. look in the mirror the mirror to see themselves in to see his side of the girl, my deep inferiority complex ... ... Her cough. Finally do not cough, for she began to smoke. Side of the smoking side of the shaking, she looked very cold. I got up and wanted to hug her. But the police feel that she should not over. I do not know, us girls together, how she still so alert. She slowly said, . But she went on to say: I know you do want to comfort me. God, this girl so understanding, I did not speak the words she can understand, is this is her tragedy.
she Qingtu smoke, smoke in that she is more room between the thin, more thin. When not drinking cup of wine. It seems to comfort her cigarette and wine, allowing some of her stronger and more effort to put her story down.
social and personnel more complex, I really can not cope. Do not mention how clogged heart. But who can say, and? I want to die. parents can bear. But how about me, with no joy at all. I began to lie to myself, weaving a beautiful story, all from the time school started, but then only when a story, so that I believe they have a chance to get their love Xiaobo. Now,
National cars are my - Qzone log, what I have in the preparation of the outcome. often tell myself that this world is not Cinderella, but even if there can not be you because you are not so lucky and no kind of temperament. enemy. I find it difficult to cope had bullied, may have used. Who I deserve to be bullied by a long face. I had to interrupt her about. just a coincidence that fills a lot of things, why should you fit? In the biting,
new balance outlet, bitter is not like biting his lips, mouth, eyes the tears of grievances. I am the waiter took out a tissue and told her not to like this, you are not wrong, you are not Shenjing Bing. I sat beside her,
new balance mens, holding her, and wow even when the pupil is heard crying. Broke down in tears and said no. I love so much him, and he said I was Shenjing Bing. how did he know, in order to make him remember me, I call a Shenjing Bing. how he knew, he said I like this, how much I hurt, how grievance. how can he know, I love him, love is willing to lay down life. If you can re-select, I would not drop out of. Poor girl, you call my sister I am very happy, but you should not be all piled up on his shoulders, you can not afford, why not find someone to share it with you? Well, I actually have sigh. Patting her back I told her, But he was able to guess what. mutual understanding between the time you are, and it is based have feelings, but you always feel inferior and he was careless. Perhaps you really missed it. Why should bear a grudge, there will be more than he good, or better suited to you. you should open my mind to accept all the outside things that are good for you ah. Do not get too heavy of their own. too depressed, so that people prone to depression, mental illness appears. I feel ... ... .
> called Xiaobo. but are now afraid of. I do not deserve Xiaobo. I do not hate Xiao Chan, really, but I blame myself. now that for him,
new new balance shoes, why did meet. Love? Perhaps it is just when I was young, a dream for many years as one round so now that love only him? I have no pop star. Then go on waiting for her.
The. others in pairs, when the work unit has a close friends at the door on the other, the bad weather, there is a coat, an umbrella is always there waiting at the door himself, which is a plain warm, how can you say I do not envy it? out of the window said, Now, she is too fragile, and she told me she did understand, in fact, same applies mirror in her heart, but her love for all these years has become a habit, let her go, she understand that this is good for her, but she did no. br>
> However, I saw her curled up body to hold fast to their own, no place to plug in like the wind and rain roots of floating Ping, tears in her eyes, a try in the Orbital would not stubborn in Da Zhezhuan Erque down. Deeply buried her head in his arms, murmured and said: But I can not. I told you ah. I know the truth than you less, but apart from him I can not accept anyone. I do not say what love is. I just know that my life because of this love and the confused one step, once the happiness of those who sneak in now seems unbearable memories. I fear the rain, for fear there will be a lightning bolt after the storm ... ...
Postscript
pupil's story did not finish, and the rain has not stopped. I can close that a girl, the heart has been with her story in the pain. I can not say pupil is Shenjing Bing, but do not deny that people in today's society there is mental illness. She was a poor child, she like to watch too. Read every word, I look at her recollection of her pain. I do not know what it is Xiaobo mood. However, I wish I could untie the knot heart pupil. Solution-maker in the hope Xiaobo can get along with positive and pupil, and perhaps you have forgotten the past of childhood, but such a love you girl you should help her tide over the difficulties, untie knot.
heartfelt prayers for the pupil, a good girl you need to have a good life for your own future, to properly protect yourself, lay down in the past, brave life.
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