Therefore, the types that are presented in this self-assessment barely scratch the surface of your
Toxic Magnet behaviors and beliefs. Furthermore, you will rarely fit only in one
Toxic Magnet Type.However, recognizing your
Primary Emotional Responses allows you to spot how a specific toxic person or situation triggers a specific type of
Toxic Magnet response in you. Since you cannot change the other, but you can change your responses, this information empowers you to change the responses that keep you hooked in the
Toxic Dance. Once you know how you are attracting or allow toxic relationships, your next step is to break free from them.
1. Give the lettershop irrelevant data
The first record in your data file should look just like a donor record except it contains the name of each field instead of the data. But that's so last Millenium. So add some colour to your lettershop's vocabulary by submitting your data file with no field names. Let the folks in data figure out for themselves if the number in the field that looks like this is the donor's last gift or the ask amount or the price of a Grande Latte No Whip at the Starbucks in Trafalgar Square.
2. Supply your date file with no field headings
4. Give your data file a no-name name
If you have a field in your data file called "first_name" and you want that field to appear in your letter as variable data, call it "name" or "F_nme" or something more exotic.
Section A: The Defectives If you checked a majority of items in Section A, you may respond to the
Toxic Magnet Type called
Defectives. The
Defectives secretly feel defective, damaged, less than others or insufficient. They seek to gain value by giving
polo Bikinis, being good, serving others, placating or appeasing or by playing second best.If you fit this profile, this does not mean that you ARE defective. It means that the
Ugly Duckling is alive somewhere in your psyche, stealing the majestic Swan you truly are. This hooks you up with toxic people, who are big blamers. Their blaming triggers your secret feelings of not being enough and keeps you hooked in the
Toxic Dance.
I know these methods work brilliantly at confusing lettershops because I have employed the first three to good effect. Only once each, mind you. There must be other ways to bungle a mailing. Let me know your favourites.
Just before you upload your data file to your lettershop, pretend that they were sincere when they said "We treat you like you are our only customer." Name your data file "mailing_list.csv." Or just "list.csv." They will know it is from you.
I know from reliable sources that the Mr. Murphy who coined Murphy's Law ("If something can go wrong, it will") worked as an account manager at a lettershop. After leaving his position of direct mail fundraising manager at a national charity. After all, in what other line of work, other than, say, launching a space shuttle, could you meddle with so many small details to sabotage your mailing? Murphy knew every way to mess up a direct mail appeal, but he had his favourites. Here they are.
I can't find my voice. I want to scream or confront the person, but I get a lump in my throat.SECTION EI want to go away and avoid the whole thing because it causes too much anxiety.I go away emotionally. I feel frozen or paralyzed or simply disappear and show up when it's all over.I am shocked. I can't believe it. It all becomes a blur.To establish your
Primary Emotional Response Patterns, count the checks for each section. Then look at the section that has the most checks. That's your
Primary Emotional Response Patterns.Section A= Defective Section B=Fixer Section C=Saint Section D=Follower Section E=Sleepwalker Types of Toxic Magnets We humans are complex beings. Once you have dived into the infinite layers of the subconscious, you learn that we are as vast as all universes existing throughout eternity.
3. Give your data file fields and your mail merge fields different names
Why supply only the donor number
Kobe Bryant shoes, campaign keycode, name
Nike Dunk SB, address, city, province and postal code (or state and zip) when you can instead add all sorts of extraneous data and personal information to each record? Why not tell the lettershop the shoe size of each donor? And the name of their pet? You'll compromise donor confidentiality, increase the chances for mistakes, boost your volume of nixies and undeliverable mail, and compel your lettershop to order Prozac by the case.