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Old 07-25-2011, 05:40 PM   #1
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Thumbs up With This Ring . . . : Ready to Wed? No, Mom.

They were mildly interested when New York lawmakers voted to allow same-###### marriage. Then his stepmother called. &ldquo;She congratulated me on gay marriage passing and said, &lsquo;This is a great opportunity for you,&rsquo;&nbsp;&rdquo; Mr. Breslow said. But there&rsquo;s a problem: Mr. Breslow, who calls himself queer rather than gay, philosophically opposes marriage. &ldquo;I don&rsquo;t understand the concept of legalized monogamy and normalcy,&rdquo; said Mr. Breslow, who has a brother, Jacob, also gay. &ldquo;My brother and I both studied queer theory.&rdquo; His stepmother, Lorraine Gray, won&rsquo;t take no for an answer. &ldquo;I don&rsquo;t have any girls,&rdquo; said Ms. Gray, 52, a psychotherapist in Oakland, Calif. Never mind that she also has two other sons, 18 and 22, who are straight. &ldquo;My gay kids are more fun than my straight ones,&rdquo; she said. Being gay has downsides: social bias, discrimination and homophobia, to name but three. But one blessing gay people <a href="http://www.startgobiz.com/sunglasses-versace-sunglasses-c-67_68_265.html?zenid=97fb97ef6905b30630ef66187e387 6a8"><strong>Versace Sunglasses</strong></a> have had was not having to endure pushy moms (and some dads) pestering them about when they are going to settle down and marry. With same-###### marriage now legal in New York, some gay sons and daughters are starting to feel the same heat from parents as do their straight siblings. &ldquo;I&rsquo;ve been tracking it on our site&rsquo;s chat boards,&rdquo; said Carley Roney, editor in chief of the wedding site the Knot, which has had a gay wedding section since 1998. &ldquo;Now that more states are legalizing gay marriage, parents are saying, &lsquo;Oh, good, so you told me this was serious and I&rsquo;ve been supporting you, but now you can make it official.&rsquo;&nbsp;&rdquo; In a sense, it&rsquo;s no different from what drives overbearing parents everywhere. &ldquo;Parents come to me with an existential anxiety to know that <a href="http://www.startgobiz.com/index.php?main_page=advanced_search_result&search_ in_description=1&categories_id=&keyword=gucci+hat& x=11&y=13"><strong>gucci hat</strong></a> their children are going to be O.K. and taken care of when they&rsquo;re gone,&rdquo; said Naomi Bernstein, a clinical psychologist in Great Neck and Rockville Centre, N.Y. But gay weddings have special meaning for some parents, especially if they struggled to accept their child&rsquo;s ######ual orientation. &ldquo;Parents with gay kids initially might think they&rsquo;re not going to have a quote-unquote normal life,&rdquo; Dr. Bernstein said. &ldquo;But once they get over that, they say: &lsquo;O.K., great. You&rsquo;re gay, fine. But now nail someone down who can take care of you.&rsquo;&nbsp;&rdquo; JUST as important, a civic wedding offers social validation, not just before the state, but in the eyes of relatives and friends of the parents. &ldquo;The parents have been supportive, but now they want the payoff,&rdquo; Ms. Roney said. One parent seeking that official stamp is Vicki Robinson, 58, a physics professor at the National Technical Institute for the Deaf in Rochester. Ever since Gov. Andrew M. Cuomo signed the same-###### marriage bill on June 24, Ms. Robinson has been nudging her 27-year-old daughter, Stephanie Pollanen, to marry her girlfriend of six years, Lindsay Hall. &ldquo;I&rsquo;m a Bible-thumping Lutheran who just got my church to put rainbow stickers on their door,&rdquo; said Ms. Robinson, who is divorced and uses her maiden name. &ldquo;If they were married, I would feel more like I could write Lindsay&rsquo;s name in the family Bible in ink.&rdquo; But her daughter has refused to share her thoughts on marriage, so Ms. Robinson has taken to following her daughter&rsquo;s Twitter feed for signs of matrimonial chatter. &ldquo;I intercepted a Twitter tweet of my daughter&rsquo;s one day to a friend indicating that perhaps a wedding was on the horizon,&rdquo; she said. &ldquo;So I took my daughter and her girlfriend out to dinner and bought several rounds of martinis, and her partner happened to spill that they had discussed plans <a href="http://photos.pulsradio.fr/displayimage.php?pos=-1772"><strong>imberland Watches – About The Company | Delicious Food world</strong></a> for a fall wedding.&rdquo; Nothing has been set, but that has not stopped Ms. Robinson from planning the big day in her head.
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